NepaLinux Launched

In the afternoon today, I attended the launching ceromony of NepaLinux. At first thought, I expected it to be a very dull programme with politicians/ministers who will talk bullshit about everything. But upon attending the programme, I was amazed and my expectations did a complete 180 degree turn. I found it very interesting and great.

NepaLinux is an operating system which has everything in Nepali now. Based on Linux, with the support of PAN and Canadian govt., the op sys was made by MPP. I had known about its development. I wanted to be a part of it but didn't get a chance. But I am happy I was invited (thanks to my brother's friends who I am close to, they didn't leave me behind).

In the seminar, people involved in different sectors had visited. Any people who is not from IT field wouldn't enjoy it at all, also a person to enjoy such a place must be a geek in true sense. I liked the presenters. They were all great minds at work. I feel great today cuz I got a chance to listen to the presentations of such great guys.

A professor from Lahore who is chief of an organization which works in localization of IT in the asian region, another professor from UK who also works on localization. It was great. There was another presenter, Internalization Activity Lead from W3C. His presentation was quite technical. People sitting around me were feeling bored and I got angry with them as I was enjoying it alot. The things he pointed out are very much true in our industry. I talked to him not even for 30 seconds but it felt great. I don't have any words to say such great guys. I am just a small time programmer, trying to make my own way. It is great to be with such people. I think I will learn great things from him if I get chance to spend some more time with him.

I don't have anything but praise and respect for such great guys. There are lots of things we can learn from them. They are the pioneers and we are the followers. I am very very very happy today.

I like riding

An open road, no traffic at all, cool breeze hitting your face, warm sunny day with clear sky - what else do you want more? Yes, a bike and on that bike, you (in this case, me). Riding (actually gliding) along the road (and on the earth), feeling the breeze in your face, its so much soothing and enjoyable as well.

Thats what I want to do now. Besides, its very much difficult to find an open road around here, otherwise, I would be riding in lightening speed on my little bike. (Even now, I ride it in quite a high speed for it). I now like riding and want to go for a long ride (the way to DakshinKali is quite an ideal place, way to Banepa would also be good but it is prone to accidents).

While on bike (and when I am alone), I feel like a river flowing. Sometimes, flowing smoothly dow the path, and sometimes with bumps (the traffic, road blocks and ditches in the streets of Kathmandu), its all enjoyable. I hope all the bike riders feel the same way. When I find the road quite vacant, I don't let go the chance to reach highest speed I have reached so far in this bike.

While manoevering the bike along the busy traffic, cutting the twists and turns, I feel like a river flowing down the path hitting and bouncing back, making way for itself. I feel like just going with the flow. There is nothing much to stop me (except the red lights at the major junctions). It makes me feel free, I feel like a winged rider, except, I ride, don't fly (I hope I will get that experience as well).

I get more ecstasic when I am a bit tipsy. When the cool air hits my face, I feel fresh and lively again. I sing all the way back, and I love all those twists and turns which I hate when I am not tipsy. People, if they know what is going in my mind and see me riding, they will certainly think I am going mad or will have an accident. That never happens. I have full control of my bike.

While returning back home from office, a long tiring day I almost have, I get recharged and refreshed again when riding back (but I don't like the hustle and bustle of Ason). On the road, its like sailing on the smooth sea, nothing ahead, with couple of people crossing the road who let me twist my bike on sideways, which I even like, and makes me feel I AM a river flowing. I love it. By the time I get home, I am fresh again. The cool air hitting my face recharges me again. And I am ready for more.

I say, riding is a divine thing to do, whatever the time maybe, how chilly the air may be, the rush of air on my faces takes all the pain away.

GoogleBombing - 'Failure' Search leads to Whitehouse Official Homepage

This was quite funny thing actually, when we search for failure, the first result is the official website of whitehouse with the page biography of the president. If we clicked on "I'm feeling lucky", then it would directly take to this page. That was all over the forwarded mails quite sometime before.

While surfing thru' the google blog, I found explanation for it. I have put it as it has been posted in the blog. Its url is: http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2005/09/googlebombing-failure.html

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Googler insights into product and technology news and our culture.

Googlebombing 'failure'

9/16/2005 12:54:00 PM

Posted by Marissa Mayer, Director of Consumer Web Products

If you do a Google search on the word [failure] or the phrase [miserable failure], the top result is currently the White House’s official biographical page for President Bush. We've received some complaints recently from users who assume that this reflects a political bias on our part. I'd like to explain how these results come up in order to allay these concerns.

Google's search results are generated by computer programs that rank web pages in large part by examining the number and relative popularity of the sites that link to them. By using a practice called googlebombing, however, determined pranksters can occasionally produce odd results. In this case, a number of webmasters use the phrases [failure] and [miserable failure] to describe and link to President Bush's website, thus pushing it to the top of searches for those phrases. We don't condone the practice of googlebombing, or any other action that seeks to affect the integrity of our search results, but we're also reluctant to alter our results by hand in order to prevent such items from showing up. Pranks like this may be distracting to some, but they don't affect the overall quality of our search service, whose objectivity, as always, remains the core of our mission.

Watched "The Goblet of Fire"

Yesterday was quite an eventful day for me. Watching movie and partying, all happened in a single day. That was quite an experience.

I went to watch "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". The movie hall was quite full with kids (though the movie is not for kids, maybe because of the impression of its previous installments). This installment was quite funny and adventurous one. I liked it. The whole audience blasted out in some of the scenes. I enjoyed that.

I have read all the Harry Potter books published till date and am proud owner of some. Of course, the movie version is not exactly the same to what is in the book. The movie has to strip off some scences and details to make watchable and to fit the timeframe. I think the director of this installment did quite an impressive work on that part, though some more funnier parts and more adventurous parts were missing in the movie. All in all, it was a great movie.

The action scenes are quite impressive, especially the dragons part. There was some lacking in the maze part cuz that as I think, that is the most important one. The maze is more scarier and deadly in the book. I think there is a dementor and a centaur (I am not sure about it) and Harry and Cedric Deggory fight with them. That part was missing in the movie. Those were the scarier ones. Maybe the director left those willingly.

Another one was the very end of the movie. Lord Voldemort should be made more scarier (he is now but more). The actor, Ralph Fiennes, suits well as the Dark Lord. The voice, the figure and the body language matches exactly I had imagined. I think he was made to do this role. The fight sequence between Voldemort and Harry should have been made more longer (maybe the cinema hall cut out some scenes) cuz that is an important one - the part where both enemies meet face to face for the first time and the war starts again.

Jeevan dai, thank you for taking me to the movie. I liked it alot and enjoyed my day.

I got some break after the movie and in the evening, I had to attend two parties (but made to one only). I had a couple of drinks there (enough to warm my body in that cold chilly night). Got some hearty laughs and little food.

People get really drunk when they get free drinks served (especially in parties). Well, to other people, that bothers much. I saw 2 guys completely drunk yesterday. Even I also didn't like it at all. Sometimes, it also happens to me but I control now.

People should hold their dignity anywhere they go. Even a small act could produce diasastrous results. I have learned my lesson on this. So I try not to loose my nerves or my control, especially when going to parties. I drink but not that much. Just enough to be tipsy and enjoy the moment.

Its difficult to earn respect and to loose that respect, it doesn't take more than a moment. So, composure is very much important. I hope everybody understands that. Free drinks are not always good. I had a headache in the morning today (I think the drink served yesterday was not good at all).

Truely a Drunkard

There once were two Irishmen, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of friends. During one particular night of revelry, the two agreed that when one passed on, the other would take and spill the contents of a bottle of fine, Irish whiskey over the grave of the fondly missed and recently dead friend.

And as fate would have it, Shawn would be the first to pass.

Pat, hearing of his friend's illness, came to visit his dear friend one last time.

"Shawn, said Pat, can you hear me?"

Faintly, Shawn replied, "Yes, Paddy, I can."

Bashfully, Pat started, "Do you remember our pact, Shawn?"

"Yes, I do Patty," Shawn strained.

"And, you'll also remember that I was to pour the contents of a fine, old bottle of whiskey over your grave, which we have been saving for, going on 30 years now?" said Pat.

"Yes Patty, I do," whispered Shawn.

"It's a very old bottle now, you know," urged Pat.

"And what are you gettin' at Pat?" asked Shawn, briskly.

"Well Shawn, when I pour the whiskey over your grave, would ya mind if I filter it through my kidneys first?"

Golf mania

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her.

He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help." He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.

She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh."

"No, I wouldn't," he said.

She said, "I sell tampons."

With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.

She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!"

Search for Jokes

I am a a freak. I did google for finding some good joke sites. Some were lousy and some were great. But anyway, I hope they will make you laugh. Here are the links:

http://www.the-jokes.com
http://www.jokesgallery.com
http://www.ahajokes.com
http://www.lotsofjokes.com

Female IT Expert

Girls, please don't be offended by this picture. I had good laugh and eased me off a bit. Hope it does the same to you all.

Hospital Incident

Santa has been lying in hospital already for 5 days and he was too bored. He was in his oxygen mask and he called nurse and said something like "nurse could u please check my testicle if they are black " this nurse was new and she was shy . she left pretending that she heard nothing.
poor santa was too bored and called another nurse, he asked same thing " nurse colud u please check my testicle if they are black " the nusre opened his pant and after looking said yes they are black.
now it was too much for santa and he pulled his oxygen mask and yelled at nurse "COULD U PLEASE CHECK MY TEST RESULT IF THEY ARE BACK "

WHOSE THE WORKHORSE????

These days, especially after Tihar, I have been working like hell. I sit in front of computer all day long - I don't even get time to turn my head around. It has been quite tuff time. At the end of the day, I am completely exhausted and have difficulty in sleeping.

Anyway, time for fun, to relax my mind and to cool my head.

GOING DOWN AGAIN

After so many months, I am going down again. And this pass seems to last. From yesterday evening, I am feeling this way. I have to do something to get out of this shock. I need something to console myself.

Getting desparate isn't one of my nature, but right now, I am. Yes, I am frustrated, angry and desparate. I need a way out very soon. Its like a whirlpool that is pulling me down to an unknown infinity where I will completely collapse into nothing.

There are some ways out from this - some I don't like and some others don't like. So its like a deadlock. And I don't find any solution that will work for all.

I desperately need to do something to get out of this. I don't know what and how, I don't know who to talk to or where to go. I just need something right now.

As I have said before also, I don't find anyone around me when I need them the most. Thats the way it has been till now. I am there for everybody. But there is no one when I need.

All alone in the darkness ,
walking alone,
dreading the creatures lurking,
looking for way out,
but in vain,
there is no light,
and no hand,
to guide this poor creature,
out from the hell of darkness.

Birbal vs. Tansen

Tansen was a high ranking official in King Akbar's court.

However he had one longstanding wish- to suck the queen's voluptuous breasts to his heart's desire.Every time he passed the queen he would get frustrated. He revealed his desire to

Birbal one day, and begged him to do something about it. Birbal, after much thought, agreed on the condition that Tansen could suck the breasts to his desire but later he would have to pay Birbal 1000 gold coins for it. Tansen agreed. The next day Birbal prepared a high voltage itching lotion and poured it into the queen's bra while she was taking a bath. Soon the itching started and grew in intensity much to the king's anxiety.Consultations with doctors and Birbal revealed that a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure it. Birbal also added that such a saliva was only in Tansen's mouth. Akbar summoned Tansen and for the next 4 hours Tansen violently sucked the queen's breasts.

Licking, biting, pressing, playing he got what he always desired. Satisfied he returned back and met Birbal, but in his lust and since his mission was over, he refused to pay Birbal anything and in fact shooed him away. Tansen of course knew that Birbal could never report this matter to the emperor since he was instrumental in it himself. What Tansen did not know was what Birbal would do the next day.

Birbal duly put that lotion in Emperor Akbar's underwear !!!!

Back from vacation, back to work and city life

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16 JOKES ABOUT MARRIAGE

1) Getting married is very much like going to continental
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and
then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish
you had ordered that.

2) At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
?Aren?t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?? The other replied, ?Yes, I am. I married
the wrong man.?

3) Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is really finished.

4) A happy marriage is a matter of give and take;
the husband gives and the wife takes.

5) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
bachelor?s degree and the woman gets her master?s.

6) A little boy asked his father, ?Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?? And the father replied,
?I don?t know, son, I?m still paying for it.?

7) Young son: ?Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn?t know his wife until he marries
her?? Dad: ?That happens in most countries son.?

8) Then there was a man who said, ?I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.?

9) When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But when a ten-year married man looks happy we wonder why.

10) Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of
marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the
second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In
the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

11) After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, ?You know, I
was a fool when I married you.? And the husband replied,
?Yes dear, but I was in love and didn?t notice it.?

12) It doesn?t matter how often a married man changes his job,
he still ends up with the same boss.

13) A man inserted an ?ad? in the classifieds: ?Wife wanted?.
The next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said
the same thing ?You can have mine?.

14) When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can
be sure of one thing; either the car is new or the wife.

15) A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

16) A woman was telling her friend, ?It is I who made my husband
a millionaire.? ?And what was he before you married him??
asked the friend. The woman replied, ?A multi-millionaire.?

Firefox Vs Internet Explorer

What to say? At first, there was war between Windows and Linux - both attacking each other. And now its between Firefox and Internet Explorer. Every now and then, we find such funny stuffs linked to this war.

While surfing, I did find something funny. Here is the picture. First, Internet Explorer completely slaughtered Netscape and now Firefox, the revamped Netscape/Mozilla browser is on a stampede to uproot Internet Explorer.

Personally speaking, I prefer Firefox over IE. Firefox has many facilities over IE but still comes with bugs. One of those I found is while executing some scripts, it shows CGI error. But the same script works wonders in IE!

I also heard the issues of Unicode support added in Firefox. One of my friends said the Unicode support in latest version of Firefox is not good.



The quote said in the picture above, reminded me of a certain dialogue from the movie the peter pan movies - "Hook" and "Peter Pan". In the movie it is said that if we say "I don't believe in fairies", a fairy dies. So to save fairies, we must say "I believe in fairies." So I thought this was similar.

Have fun with this.

Email Turns 34 years

So long have we been using email service. But many of us do not know the history of email. While surfing the net, I found some interesting articles. The article was written by Ray Tomlinson, the creator of emailing system. Back in 1971, he created, tested and implemented the first basic emailing system. I read through his article. I hope you guys will also like it.

The link to Ray's article is here http://openmap.bbn.com/%7Etomlinso/ray/firstemailframe.html.

The BBC news has also posted its gratitude to email service. You can see it here.

I initially got these articles from google blog. The first engineer of gmail had written his views about gmail where he also posted link for first email system.

There is another place where you can see the first computers where the email system was tested. You can visit this one http://openmap.bbn.com/%7Etomlinso/ray/ka10.html.

We must be thankful for Ray because his innovation has been so much powerful and so much used. In this age, email has become quite important. It is synonymous to our own name now. With the creation of email, he changed the whole world. Hats off to such a persona.

First Pic on Web

Finally I'm back in Kathmandu after a week long Dashain vacation. I had quite alot of fun this time. Partying everyday, having fun, talking business and working (office work and domestic work). In short, I lived the days back in Pokhara.

Being back to work has new experiences. Taking charge of things is quite difficult after such a long holiday. I am ready to take charge but first I have to pull all the strings together to know where I had left before going on vacation.

Well, browsing thru the net, I found something interesting. I hope everybody will like it. The picture is copyright of wikipedia, hence I have placed its link. By doing this, I don't think I am messing with the copyright issue.

Have fun guys.

OF O's and M's

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__________________________MOOOOOMOOOOOOOM _________________________MOOOOOOMMOOOOOOOM _________________________

Synopsis for "It happens only in..." Series

The pictures in this series I got from a cousin of mine just as a humour. I had quite a laugh when I first looked at those pictures. But later, when I gave a serious thought, those pics were not funny, they were satarical to me. I posted those pictures as just other regular posts. I think some people are offended by it. As I had said in my previous post as well, they are actually to depict in what dire situations are the rural regions of the indian subcontinent. Now I think I have to change the title into "It happens only in SAARC".

In the past fifty years, the world has seen great lot of changes - whether it may be in the field of politics, industralization, education, medicine - you name it, everything has changed. They are not the same as they used to be.

By this wind of change, the South Asia subcontient is also affected. The urban areas started growing rapidly, massive industralization started in the region, in short, development (as termed by the modern people) came to the region. This is a good thing to happen. This region has always been mystic to the west. The orient was regarded as the dark region. But now, with the introduction of western technology and modern ideas, the orient is no longer mystic as it was before, but now it is on the run to take over the world. As I think about it now, I get happy as we are now on the verge of becoming the leaders of the world.

This happiness, has come with some dear cost. We are loosing our originality and forgetting our fellow people. The pictures I posted in the series, they depict the actual situation in the rural areas of the subcontinent.

With rapid urbanization, people from the villages swarmed into the big cities in search for work and food since everything got centered in the big cities only. This is still happening in Nepal, and India as well. This way, the rural areas started getting emptied from their able workforce and in the other hand, the big cities are getting flocked by people of all kinds. Too much crowded are the big cities now. Check Bombay, Banglore, Delhi, Kathmandu or any other cities by people migrating from the villages far and near. This has lead to high crime rates, increase in slum areas and poor living conditions in some parts of the big cities. I think this the biggest problems that most of the developing countries are facing.

The reasons for this, as I think, is improper or unplanned development or urbanization. This has affected the south asia region the most. While development is being planned, due to some reasons, rural areas have been left out or the projects are only focused in the urban areas (this is the condition here in Nepal, all the good things are here in Kathmandu only. So thats why I am here). All the new technologies are replacing the age old methods that the village people are using to cultivate their land, or make different goods (eg. plastic replaced mud utensils in the start of the last century) and so on. So the jobs are getting cut from the village. Due to lack of employment (hence lack of fund), people rush to cities with big dreams in their head. What they get is suffering and fight for survival.

I think this is the biggest problem persisting in this world right now (except George Bush's "War against Terrorism"). We humans, being social animals, should focus on such social issues more than following a bastard fanatic. This problem is not only of south asia, but of the whole world. This is happening everywhere.

As I think, there is very great need to solve this problem and stop this migration. We need to go back to our villages and establish our solid grounds there. As King Gyanendra says, "development should start from the grassroot level." I strongly agree with him (but I doubt if he will do what he says!). We should go back to the villages, take the modern technology, blend it with the age old traditional methods. The products of the rural areas should be provided market in the big cities. For this, I have already wrote my ideas in my previous post. We need to take roads everywhere. If all goes well, as in my dreams, then in the span of few years, people won't leave their home in villages in search of work in big cities. They will have a happy life and peace will prevail on earth.

I am not a strategist or planner. I am just a small time guy with ideas that may work or not. Of course, even if the countries follow the path I just described, there is much bureaucracy involved (and corruption as well). And it will take ages for things to work out.

If all things go smoothly, then the pictures I posted will be a history (and I want this to happen).

I hope you guys agree with me on this.

I'm having a great Drink ;) - Body Paints continued...

It happens only in India 2

More pics in this series. I hope you guys like them all.

Sardarji Taking an MBA Exam

Santasingh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.
Rajiv: santasinghHow is your MBA preparation?
santasingh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Rajiv: Logic is very easy.
santasingh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
santasingh: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.
santasingh: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.
santasingh: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
santasingh: YES.
Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
santasingh: YES.
Rajiv: so, logically, your are married.
santasingh: YES.
Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.
santasingh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees bantasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.
santasingh: How is your MBA preparation?
banta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
santasingh: Oh, logic is easy.
banta: Please, give me an example.
santasingh: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
banta: NO, I don't.
santasingh: Saala HOMO!!!

A Complete Man

I had a great day yesterday.

The started as usual dull saturday but in the evening, everything changed. I got a call from a person - that person turned out to be my college friend. He had returned from Australia after 5 years. Kishor is a big man, and now he is even more bigger.

Well, the same things happened when guys meet and sit in a restaurant. I met Prateek and Ritesh there - both Australia returned and planning to settle down here. As the bottle began to empty, our past life and our future started to come around us. We talked about many things and enjoyed them all. It is fun spending time with friends.

I can be proud of myself. They say, a person is defined by the watch he wears, that is true. I say, a man is defined by the company he keeps. Almost all of my KU friends have become something now and that is so good.

Some have gone in government job, some are engineers, some are doctors, me a business man, an entrepreneur. Almost all have found a path of his/her own in life. They seem content. And that is good - for them as well as for me. Even if we meet rarely, there are lots of things to share. We enjoy at the fullest extent.

I can define my circle as circle of young hot bloods who have fire within themselves, love their country and are self aware that they have to do something. We all have similar ideas. When I am with them, I think I am complete. My life started from KU. The friends I made there are my life.

When I am with them, I am complete. Whenever or wherever we meet, we will complement each other, we will complete each other.

Yes, I am a complete man now. I am grown up, I work, I think, I do and of course I drink as well :->, all things a man does.

It happens only in India

About a month ago, I got few picture series "It happens only in India" from Anand dai. I think those pictures are really hilarious. Some of the pictures posted, also match to Nepal as the situation of rural areas of the both countries are much same. Besides, we have many things in common. If anybody is offended with these pictures, I apologize to them. I don't have any hard feelings about them.

The time those pictures may seem funny, but at the same time, those pictures will also show how much back are the rural areas of the Indian subcontinent. We, who are having good life here in the city, should definitely work to improve the living standards of our fellow citizen. This is what I think of when I see some of the pictures.

AISI APNI WIFE HO ....

Jeans jiski tight ho,Chehara jiska bright ho,

Weight mein thodi light Ho,

Umar me difference slight ho,

Thodi see wo quiet ho,

Aise apni Wife ho.

Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho,

Bhid me sab kahe side ho,side ho,

Indian sub-continent ki paidaish ho,

Sas ki seva jiski khwahish ho

Aisi apni Wife ho.

Padosi jab baat kare to

haath me knife ho,

Dinner candle light ho,

Dono me na kabhi fight ho,

Milane ke baad dil delight ho,

Hey prabhu teri archana uski life ho.

Yeh kavita padhke sab kahe

"Guru, tum right ho",

Aise apni Wife ho.

Kaash yeh concept 0.0001 percent bhi right ho

Agar aisi apni wife hoto

kya hasin life ho

Har kisi ki yahi farmaish ho

kudrat ki bhi aajmaish ho

Khudah ke software mein bhi

bug ki na gunjaish ho

Ay kaash, kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho

aisi apni wife ho,

aisi apni wife ho.......

Ooops! Stripped, am I?

Yo Mr. Superman, check your pants...

English is a Funny Language

Have u ever thought how u use English ? Certainly in a very very ridiculus way. But u can't see any way .Anyway, don't tell if English is such crazy why don't u take it to a mental hospital .Ok , Let's face it---"English is a crazy language"---

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another.Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

Laughter time again

This is another body paint. Funny for me, but for you, I don't know.

ON THE TOP AFTER A WEEK LONG BATTLE

Life back on track now.

I had quite an ordeal this week. We had to hospitalize my dad again. Sunday night was quite painful for my family. He just went numb. We immediately took him to the nearest hospital (the same one in which we admitted him last time). Luckily, we got all the attention of the doctors on duty. Slowly, he became normal and fell asleep early morning on Monday.

Monday was another painful day as he didn't have any sense at all. We had given him two sleeping tablets. The medicine was quite a powerful one. My mom was very much scared. I was not worrying but damn tired of running up and down three flights of stairs all day long. The doc advised us to shift him to admit him in ICU the very same day. He also referred us the hospital and the doc to meet on duty.

In that hospital again, we had some difficult moments but finally everything fell in place for us. He was immediately shifted to ICU without any paper pushing. Lucky for us.

The docs and the nurses in ICU were great. They took care of him and slowly he started gaining consciousness and became normal. They regularly monitored his every activity. We just had to run around taking blood and urine for tests, buy medicines and so on.

The next day also, he remained in ICU with full monitoring of the nurses and doctors. We just hung around the place talking to people whose patients were also admitted there. There, I saw some bitter reality about my country and life. It was like gaining enlightenment of some kind. One of the patient was brought from very remote area of Nepal. They were poor and on filthy clothes - but their heart was very big: bigger than mine.

The patient was suffering for Incephalitis. She was unconsious all the time. The parents had collected money from their villagers to bring her to the hospital. They were having difficult time at the hospital. The nurses told them to buy medicine - they went to buy but got lost on the way, sometimes bought the wrong medicine or so. I was feeling very much sorry for them. I was tired and was taking a nap. The nurse was just shouting at the dad of the patient to go and change the medicine - which he had bought from Maharajgunj hospital - which is quite far away. I felt like taking him there to change the medicine on my bike but fell asleep again. (Am such a bad guy)

Luckily, his relatives came to his rescue but with much difficulty. In the evening, I spent much time talking to them and also helped them navigate around the hospital. I also gave my some suggestions. I hope that was of some help to them. Anyway, I think, even few words of consolation in difficult times are helpful. I tried to help them as much as I could. In the dirty pool of Kathmandu, there were few people who were still unpolluted and so naive - full of simplicity. In front of them - I was a bloody hound. I still have some good part left in me.

My dad slowly recovered and then he was shifted to the ward. I had to do some running around for that as well. In the ward, I used my good eloquence skill to smoothen the nurses and get extra attention for my dad. I hope that helped.

Today, he is back at home enjoying life again. He has to forget that ordeal (I think he barely remembers it). It was a hard time for me this week but to sum up, I enjoyed it alot. It took out a lot of things from me. I have definitely changed. Everybody was surprised how I handled all the situation. I have definitely become a man now. I AM the man of the house now. I just felt like that yesterday.

Other things, we got enough support and help from our relatives (leaving some, I don't want to use foul words for them here. I am damn angry with them.). Since this episode over, I am thinking of throwing a thanksgiving party to all the relatives who helped (and didn't help) us during the time of difficulties. I have already spoken out my idea to dad and mom. Its their wish to accept or not. I don't care. But when time comes, I will definitely do my best for them, wherever I am, whatever the situation it maybe, whenever the time it may be.

I am happy now everything is over. We will have to make sure dad's sugar level in blood is in control. He doesn't have to take loads of medicines now. I think everything will fall into place for him and for us.

With every passing day, I am becoming something else. Everybody is feeling the change going within me. Change is good- it is very much for me.

HAPPINESS AND SORROW - A WEEK FULL OF EMOTIONS

Yesterday, my brother left for England for his further studies. I don't know whether he'll just study there or do something else, but its a good thing someone from the family is abroad to study.

Afterall, that is what my dad and mom wanted from me and my brother. Well, there has been lots of things going around this week. And from today, everything is settling to normal and the heat from all the activity is cooling off.

The major event of the week, is, my brother flying to UK. This is good news to us. There were some tensions and frictions going around on this subject. As he is gone now, everything has flown with him, I guess. In the evening, I spent sometime with my sister in law, as I found it was necessary. She was the only one who was crying. I was smiling and happy that my brother is going abroad. I had to solace her, and say some words of confidence and support. I showed her my other side then. I helped her understand our family more. I guess that helped her. As she is the part of our family now, it is my duty to take care of her as well. Out from nowhere she came and now, she is much dearer to my brother than us.


My dad fell sick. This is another major event - and a very hard blow to us. We know he is diabetic, but didn't know he had blood pressure also. His bp shot high up the mountain this week and was fluctuating all the time. We had to hospitalize him for two days. I was with him most of the time. It was very hard for him.

There are two reasons for his high bp, as I think. One: he worries too much about my brother and about his marriage. Second: he remembers too much my younger sister, who is in deheradun, india, now.

My dad worries too much. There is no way to make him stop worry about things. I have found his thinking jump the quantum levels. That bothers me alot. I am pretty cool thinker, but my dad and brother are somewhat same. They think way too much in the negative side.

Well, there are some gruffs regarding our relatives in the family which I think should be sorted out. Everybody has to go his own way. And thats what our relatives have done. So why not us? I don't want to care about them at all! If I have to do something for them, I won't do without a pay cuz I am a professional now and I have got mouths to feed.

Seems like I am the man of the house now. Got lots of responsibilities on my shoulders now. Am trying to strengthen them. (using Yoko Height ;)).


Life is a fight that you fight till the death bed. And I am ready to do that. I am a born winner and I have won every battle I have fought. So these tiny miny rivals don't mean anything to me. Now I have grown into a big rude and cruel devil who eats up everything that comes his way. I have become so to save myself from everything around. I have made a wall millions of feet high around myself to stop invaders coming inside my world.

From now on, I have to become more protective and more alert. I will kill them all.

In the end, I will stand up as the winner, all alone in the amass of dead bodies.


So, to sum up, this week has made me something else. I am no more the same sushil now.

Persistence

I regularly get thought for the day from Bikash Dai. Here is one piece he sent me. I think this is really good.


Persistence

The mountain is high. Take another step.
The mountain is high. Take another step.
The mountain is still high. Take another step.
Take enough steps, and the mountain is no longer so high.
The key to getting anywhere - to your ideal weight,
to overcome anger, to higher self-esteem - is to keep taking another step.


And a picture I had which shows persistence and perseverence

SATIRE FOR BUSH

Becoming environmentally aware.....

Funniest Body Paint

This is the funniest body paint I have ever seen.

Le Divorce

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

Speed Driving Excuse

A man in his 40s bought a new BMW and was out driving on the interstate at top speed when he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and sped up even more. Then the reality of the situation hit him, "What the heck am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, it is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

How to ask Money with Dad

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything i need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ i would love to hear from you.

Love
Your $on
-----------
-----------
The Reply
-----------
-----------
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOrs student busy. Do NOt forget that pursuit of kNOwlegde is NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love
Yours Dad

Drinking Again!!!!

I think this one is really really funny. I hope you all like it as well.

---------------------------------------

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!"

"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.

"The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."

Before it starts

Its joke time again---------------------------



Keith comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts."

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts."

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.


He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute."

The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . ."

Keith sighs and says, "It's started . . "

CHILDHOOD DAYS, REVISITED

Everybody remembers his/her childhood days. I don't and don't want to.

Currently, I am reading a book "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Coleman. The book talks about different aspects of emotions that people have, their psychological as well as physiological aspects and many other different things. All in all, the book is a good read, and is quite resourcefull indeed. We mostly only focus on intelligence regarding marks in schools, success in career ladder, but never take much care about our own emotions and the feelings of people around us.

There is a chapter on emotional illiteracy. That chapter gave me quite a blow.

After reading that chapter, I have been thinking about my childhood days. I have been thinking about all the stuffs that happened around, all the things are coming back. The way dad behaved with me, things I did with my friends, my friends' attitude towards me and many other things.

I am supposed to be the brightest child in my family. I always scored best marks in school. In college, I was given an award upon completion of our course (it doesn't matter to me at all). I have always focused on my studies, and my career, and I have very few friends. Actually, I don't know how to make friends at all. I cannot continue a relationship for long, it has to break at some point.

Some say, I am very much cold and I don't feel anything. All my life till now, I have focused on studying and building my career. I haven't given a thought on going with my friends, having a steady relationship or anything like that. My dad always made me study hard. I didn't spend my childhood playing outdoors. I have my childhood friend, we used to play sometimes, but it wasn't frequent.

I don't blame my dad for this. It just moulded me up. Now, I don't care about people around me. I am very much selfish and career centred. I don't know what to say when someone cries in front of me. I am just in loss of words.

Through my working years, I have learnt alot from my friends, lets say, the world outside my known turf. I made a quite a few friends, and some intimate friends as well. We discuss great deal of things. That also helped schooling my emotions, I learned how to react, how to console and above all, how to talk.

Now, I am a professional. I talk and meet people most of the time. I do enjoy it. I have now become quite talkative (and drunkard as well). I can describe things in very convincing ways. I can give different scenarios to the same thing. Well, that is what I gained. But sometimes, it is still hard for me to express what I feel. I just want someone to understand how I feel without me telling him/her. I say, eyes show your emotions before your face or body does. So, one should learn to read eyes.

Do you know how it feels to be without a friend for 3 crucial years of your school? And when that period is the time when you become a man from a boy. I still carry that scar with me.

Going Shopping????

A man went into a grocery store, got 3 cans of dog food, and walked up to the checkout counter. The cashier asks the man, "Sir, do you own a dog?" The man replies, "Yes I do." The cashier then asks, "Do you have the dog with you?" The man replies, "No, I left it at home." The cashier then says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this dog food unless I see your dog." A few days later the man walks into the same store, gets 3 cans of cat food, and walks up to the checkout counter. The same cashier asks, "Sir, do you own a cat?" The man replies, "Yes I do." The cashier then asks, "Do you have your cat with you?" And the man replies, "No, I left it at home." Then the cashier says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this cat food unless I see your cat." A few days later the man walks into the store, this time carrying a paper bag. He walks up to the same cashier, and asks him to put his hand into the bag. The cashier says, "It feels warm, soft, and gooey." The man then says, "Now, can I go back and get 3 rolls of toilet paper?"

AWKWARD SITUATIONS IN LIFE

There comes a moment in everybody's life, when s/he is out of words. Yesterday, I had such an experience. Such moments come and go, but yesterday's moment had a lasting impact on me.

One of my close friends, is going to England soon. She says her family doesn't understand her at all and don't give priority to her needs and feelings. Well, we have been together for the last 4 years, I think and we are pretty close now. We talk a great deal. We talk about everything.

I found out she has a boyfriend now and wants to get married with the same guy. She knows its not possible if she tries to get her family's consent because they are not going to agree. We talked briefly about this yesterday as it was a surprise for me. Suprisingly, the couple talked about everything except about themselves. And that was pretty amazing. So far, I have found out, if two people have relationship, then there is lots of sharing, discussing about feelings of each other and talking about their likes and dislikes. This didn't apply to them.

So I said there wasn't a relationship at all, they were just two strangers meeting and talking about something funny.

The thing that jolted, was, I also know, her family doesn't give damn to her feelings. She needs love, she needs to be loved, hence she keeps looking for that. Since she is not getting it from her family, she is looking outside the family. She is looking for love. I worry about her.

When I left Pokhara, she was not like that. She was a strong girl with a strong determination. Yesterday, I found her strength had vanished. She had become weaker. That is a bad thing.

We are best friends. I want to help her. When she said that, I was out of words. And that is what I told her. I don't have any word to say to her. She knows will always be there to help her. As I am master of words, I later expressed myself.

I am just a kid starting to crawl now. I have great lot of things to do and see. Till now also, I have learnt a lot. I told her, I will give her any amount of emotional support I can. That is what I am best at. I will not let her down. I will do anything that is within my prowess to help her.

Dear friend, as you also are my mentor, I will do anything I can to bring your confidence and strength back. Just count on me.

ANGER OR FRUSTRATION

I don't know about others, but for me, a very thin line separates from anger and frustration. The anger I am talking about is not of others, but being angry with myself. I don't know whether I am frustrated or angry. I just don't feel good.

The reason behind this, is quite personal. I don't know what to do. I just get confused. I try many things but never succeed which leads to frustration and then to anger. I cannot eliminate the root cause as well since it is very dear to me. I am in a dilemma. I cannot make sure what I should do. Should I just keep continuing the way I am right now or change myself? If I change myself, I think, I'll hurt some people as well. I don't want to that either.

Generally, I am the guru for suggesting my friends from helping them out of their difficult situations. I have helped a great deal of people. Now its my time to get some help. I think nobody understands my problem or I cannot communicate it properly. But I am good at talking. I can make people laugh and cry. This time, I am a true failure, which I am not at all by nature.

Maybe my problem is with the wrong thing, or maybe I am stuck in past or I cannot convince others or I am not sure of what I want. But I am sure of what I want! Then definitely it is any of the former problems. I don't know.

I think I need to take a crash course on how to make a woman happy.

PROFESSOR OF MATHEMATICS

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

FRIENDS FOREVER - ENEMIES HIDDEN WITHIN

Remembering the golden old days that I spent in EasyPage, I feel happy and gay. I have made friends, some foes as well. But the overall aura of the employment period of EasyPage was just great. When we friends meet, we still remember those days, and our mischievious deeds there. I was in the top list to exploit the office resources. I talked on phone for hours, used the internet, drank and fought. I did everything there.

Friday night, those moments came alive again. Some friends from Pokhara had come here for their personal business. We then met at Bishalbazar just to sit and talk. But I was thinking about a grand party. Sadly some of my friends had quitting drinking and smoking. Good for them. Well they must have learnt their lesson quite a lot. We just roamed around, went to a hotel at Sundhara to meet some other friends. While being there, it became clearer that we weren't enjoying that night at all. I was kind of feeling bad about it. The Pokhara guys planned to stay back in the hotel. Finding it was of no use staying there, I asked the guys to move out. I wanted to have some fun, any kind of fun then. I was kind of desparate. I had a long day.

Then we went to New Road and did some shopping, we were all still together. Then Rahul asked should we enjoy some beer. I said, "hell Yes!. Lets go for it." So then the vibe came back again and the party started in the small restaurant in Bangemuda.

Well, there everybody vomitted out their old hidden desires of EasyPage. I think I was the cleanliest one. I am the clean one. I transformed the whole environment of EasyPage after I joined it. I am the man.

I had a problem with one of the friends from Pokhara. I knew he had something hidden from me. I wanted to take it out. That was the only opportunity and I didn't let it go. I hit the bullseye. I enjoyed it most. Well, everybody knows what happened when I left the office.

It doesn't matter much now since I was right and they were wrong. Later in the evening, I smoked a cigarette, after about 6 months, remembered our old deeds and enjoyed. I was back home at around 10. All in all, it was a good worthful day.

I met my friends, I met my girl, I drank, I smoked and I enjoyed. That was fun.

Saturday also, it was quite a day. I met the EasyPage friends once again and bade them farewell as they were on their way to Pokhara. I did enjoy it though.

Remembering all those days back of EasyPage, I remember just one thing. "Be careful from your enemies, but always stay aware of your friends because you know what your foes are going to do to you, you don't know when your friend is going to stab you on the back."

Yeah, I was kind of stabbed by my friend on my back.

BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck."
His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." Adam decided to to his friend's advice.

The next day at the bar his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

"Yes, I did," Adam replied.

"Did she like it?"

"Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"

POTTER MANIA

Tomorrow Saturday, the sixth book of Harry Potter, "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" will unveiled. It is moreover a worldwide launch of the book. Millions of readers around the world have been anticipating it for over than a year.

All of the five books, till now, have created quite a rave worldwide. The Harry Potter movies also, have taken this rave much more further. I didn't like any of those movies cuz I watched them after reading the books. They are nothing like the books anyway. Yet, I give credit to the movie crew for making such spectacle effects and scenes. It is quite hard to materialize the magical scenario set in the books into the movie screen.

Now the sixth book. One of the most anticipated books of all times. It was #1 bestseller in Amazon.com from two months ahead of its release. Just imagine how many books had been ordered in advance!

I am also a Harry Potter fan somewhat myself. I have read all the five books. I got the first four as a gift from my American sister, Shira Abeles, who is now doing Medicine somewhere in USA. Hey Shira, thanks for addicting me to Harry Potter. Those books were just magical and fun reading. I just got glued to it. I couldn't separate them from myself! You must have had the same feelings while reading the book.

I bought the fifth book myself here in Kathmandu after about 2 months of its release. I bought it in a good bargain. It was worth it. The book was good but its climax was kind of cinematic to me. I don't know what others feel about it.

So, there has been much speculations about this "Half Blood Prince." I am also waiting to reveal the secrets. And there are news in limelight, some books had been sold in US and Canada by the mistake of retailers but the books have been return. I don't know how many people are dying for the book to release. Its just 24 hours away from today or 36 hrs!

Lets hope this sixth installment of the series will be as much fun as the earlier ones.

And there is another rather sad news. I read in the newspaper today, Pope Benedict XVI commenting on the Harry Potter books. As the newspaper said, the Pope said that the Harry Potter books are not in terms with the teachings of Christianity and hence should be discarded. Hell! That is rather a funny comment. I do hope he is also a fan of Harry Potter (maybe a SuperFan!).

I think all the literature products, books, novels, poems, essays, biographies and more, are above any religion and their teachings except those like Bible, Geeta, Quaran and many more. They are the work of creative mind, work of philosophy, written solely by human being for human being. They shouldn't be connected with any religion and discredited. Rather, we should welcome all the ideas presented in the books. I may be saying this cuz I am a bookworm but this is what I feel.

So, my dear Pope, I respect you alot. But I don't agree with you in this thing. There is no Christianity nor Hinduism nor Islamism or Buddhism in the books of Harry Potter. It is a work of imagination and work of art and philosophy. Please don't critisize it again with respect to Christianity. I believe in Christ. He was the Man. But this kind of thinking is bad for him.

So, lets keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best for "Half Blood Prince". Man, I am dying to get that books in my hand.

TATTO MAGIC

This guy really loved his girlfriend alot and as a token of his affection, he tattooed his erm.. member (penis) with his girlfriends name on it. When fully aroused it read 'Wendy.' When he wasnt it read 'Wdy.' of course.

So anywhose, they go on a brilliant sun kissed holiday to Jamrika (Jamaica) and they were having the best time on the beach. It was normal for nudes to walk round and no one blinked an eye. They managed to get nude and lie down under an umbrella. Wendy told her man, " to be a darling" and fetch her drink from the beach bar..he felt kinda embarrassed about his apparant nudity he told her but u know women, she said, "dont worry sweety, its more or less a nude beach, you're not the only one!"

So he reluctantly agreed and walked off naked as a baby towards beach bar. As he approached he saw a Rastafarian dude, to the guys relief this rasta man was indeed nude as he was, so immediately felt much better. He then realised this rasta man also had "Wdy' on his penis! He said,
"Wooow, what a amazing coincidence, so your wife's name is also Wendy!"
"Naaahhh man!," says the Rasta,
"So why u got 'Wdy' then, what does it stand for?"
The Rasta then smirks slyly and replies, " It stands for, 'Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day!"

Of Parrots and Priests

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem.I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, an we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can
teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying...that phrase...in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:

"Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence.

Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

NAME GAME

A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints!!

The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around. '"

LAUGHTER - THE STRESS BUSTER

Do you believe laughing can actually reduce stress and probability of heart disease? Well, it has been quite a time people have acquainted themselves with laughter therapy. In this therapy, people just laugh and laugh. They say, laughing circulates blood in brains more and also heart pumps more blood. All in all, it activates your body. Thats what they say.


I say, when you are damn tired and stressed, you should try laughing, crack some jokes with your friends and colleagues, laugh and then work. Doing this also makes the environment of the workplace cool, homely and easygoing. Thats what I do mostly. When I am tired and have lots of work pressure, I find sometime for myself to crack jokes and laugh. I even search for jokes and funny pictures in the net.

Laughing releases some pressure from me. After having a hearty laugh, I feel fresh. So there is energy to work more.

Pranks is counter part of cracking jokes. In pranks, there is always a victim but in jokes, there isn't any. The only thing is pure fun and laughter. I don't like playing pranks but like cracking jokes a lot. That is fun.

So fellas, try my therapy to release your stress. Enjoy life.

Remember - LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.

Freedom to Do Anything

Few weeks ago, I found a picture in yahoo of a girl. The girl was actually a police offier in England (I forgot the name of the city) . Well, she was being a good cop but suddenly, her picture appeared all over the world in swimsuit.

The police department, seeing this, shifted her to less important department and then started a probe on that photograph. That is really really funny. I don't think it is a good idea, moreover considering a country like England.

I think a person is engaged to work during the office hours only. After his/her duty hours are off, he/she can do anything he/she wants. That certain act was violation of freedom and also human rights.

I think she should be left off with that. Being a cop doesn't mean that she can't do modelling. Besides, many people do two jobs - one a full time and other a part time. Why can't they take it like that?

I say, I appreciate the courage of that lady. Hats off to her. And my ass to the high officials who are not satisfied with that.

WHAT A DAY WAS IT YESTERDAY

So it was saturday yesterday. No office to go, no work to do at all. When saturdays come, I get anxious. I don't know what to do! The same thing happened yesterday. I was trying to make some plan on friday but nothing materialized. Finally, I asked my cousin to go to the movie late evening on friday. He agreed.

So early Saturday morning, we hit for the movie theatre. The movie we wanted to watch was "Mr. & Mrs. Smith." Sadly, it was housefull and we had to wait till the next show. We bought the ticket and then we came to my office(so sad). We later hit back to the theatre. On the way, it suddenly rained so heavily that we were soaked to bone in no time. As a shelter, we took a cab to the theatre. Two streets away, it wasn't raining at all! We then got off and then walked to the theatre. We got inside the theatre but the ticket conductors caused us some problems with the seating arrangements. Hell with them. We sat on the seats we wanted to seat. Everything came to place by the time the movie started.

The starting was nice, the conversation was very very funny. So was the whole movie.

We returned back home and had our lunch and snacks together. All in all, I had a great day yesterday. I did everything I enjoy. I read book, I watched a movie, watched tv, had great dinner (!). It was a complete relaxing day.

I am looking forward to it again for such days in my life.

The Atheist in Men/Women

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."

Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."

MOTHER'S INTEREST IN DAUGHTERS' SEX LIFE

A mother had 3 daughters. They were all getting married within a
short time period. Because mom was a bit worried about how their
sex lives would get started, she made them all promise to send a
postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex
felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the
wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at
first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased
for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the
wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges." Mom now knew to
go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the
Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size." She was again
slightly embarrased but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom
waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by, and still
nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words: "British
Airways." Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine,
flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found
the ad for the airline. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven
days a week, both ways." Mom fainted.

INTERNATIONAL CAT RACE

An International Cat Race was held in Washington DC. Qualified cats from all over the world were on the track. Race started and amazingly Ethopian Cat won.... made everyone surprised. Fox 5 News Reporter rushed to the cat and asked him.. How did you make yourself so fit to win the race? Your country's economic is so bad that human don't have enough food to eat, how did you manage to get all your need for the race? The winner replied I wanna talk to u in private if u really insist to know my talent. The winner asked him to turn off the Camera, took the reporter aside and said 'Well my friend don't say this to anyone but I'm not a cat, I'm a Cheetah from Ethopia but my country doesn't have a adequate supply of food, I've not eaten from long time so I look like a cat.

LAUGHTER TIME!!!!

Of Parrots and Priests.

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem.I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, an we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can
teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying...that phrase...in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:

"Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence.

Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

THE UPSIDE OF ANGER

Back again to by very own blog.


They say, frustration is the root cause of anger. So, am I frustrated? Definitely not! I am angry because I am angry and I am angry with myself.

Lately, so much things are happening around me. I am so much consumed in myself and my work that I have not been able to keep up with them. I am falling behind.

Talking to people is also not helping at all. Everybody has got his/her own problems. Well, I am pretty good at suggesting and helping others, but I can't solve my own. When I need help, I don't find anybody around. So, its all alone that I have to face my problems. Does it make me stronger? Or does it push me away from the crowd?

When I was a kid, I used to get angry alot. That used to ventilate all my emotions. Now, as I have grown up, I have submerged myself into this worldly affairs. I cannot directly show how I feel, what I feel and why I feel. I sometimes have to pretend that there is nothing even if there is hell lots of things happening inside me. Now, I can hold my anger. For how long? Sometimes, I just want to shout "Hell! F**k off!! Leave me alone!" or just land my fist on someones face. Those are just fantasies for me now.

But there are some better things happening to me as well. I can use that anger to something else. Fight the depression, show the people what I am really made of, or to just cut them out. So, there is nothing much to worry about. But holding down emotions for long is not that good, is it?

So, I am standing in the middle. The line which separates sanity from insanity, calm from angry and so on. I think I cannot hold myself much on this threshold.

Well, bungee jumping is a pretty good option to ventilate all of my bad feelings.

Mind you guys, I am not feeling depressed. I am never depressed. I am feeling great. Nor even am I in any tension. Sushil doesn't take any tension, gives tension to others.

THIS COUNTRY IS A MESS

There was a case going on in the Royal Commission for Corruption Control regarding the irregularities carried out with the "Prime Minister Relief Fund." The ex-pm Sher Bahadur Deuba et al were charged of mishandling the funds during Dashain last year. The verdict hearing took quite a long time to reach to a decision. Few days back, I read in newspapers that if the Ex-PM and his colleagues are to be charged with mishandling of the fund, then the Vice-Presidents of the current council of Ministers should also be charged of same case as they have taken hefty lump of money from the same fund.

Yesterday was quite a funny day for the people of Nepal and more to the RCCC and the beaurocrats. The Ex-Pm and et al were given clean chit on the case.

This is very very funny from the way I look at it. By giving clean chit, the RCCC has shown its incapability on questioning the current Council of Ministers hence they are nothing more than enuche from my point of view.

Moreover, the first Vice-Chairman of the Council of Ministers is blacklisted by the Nepal Bank for not paying the loan, which is now more than million.

I happen to see jokes everywhere everyday. And I also make jokes sometimes over things. For me, this has been the biggest joke ever. A joke over the ruling system of Nepal, the government, the incapabilities of the commissions created to check corruption, and above all, making joke of all the Nepali citizens.

I now think it is time to hit the streets and ask for complete revolution - from the palace to the peons down on the lane.

I know, and everybody knows, that is a must for Nepal.


While other countries are progressing, Nepal is going back - degressing lets say so. I don't see hope now.

Maybe if I want to survive or live, then I should take the other path - follow the "Palayan wadi Niti."

Mr. & Mrs. Smith???? Didn't get a chance to see that movie

This time around, today, I became a fool. Went for the movie but the tickets were all sold out. So, it was just a round trip for the morning with my "friend". That is ok anyway. But to return back from the theatre is very very boring and kind of self humiliation. Well, I became myself a joke, used to make jokes on others sometimes. So here I am, the joke of the day!!!!

What are You Worth?

y/from - TAILEND ô¿ô in the "Web Evangelism Bulletin" The seminar speaker held up a high-value currency note. In a room of 200 people he asked, "Who would like this note?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give one of you this note but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple it up.

He asked again, 'Who wants it now?' Still hands went up. 'Well, what if I do this?' He dropped it to the ground and stamped on it and generally got it very grubby indeed. But still people wanted it.

"My friends," he said, "you have learned an important lesson today. No matter what I did, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value, it was still worth the same."

How often have you been dropped, ground down, beaten up, made bad decisions, done wrong things, been mistreated, made to feel worthless? But no matter what happens to you or what you do, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or just well-creased, you are priceless.


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This recent posting, I got from Bikash Man Shrestha as his "thought of the day." He has been sending me such quotes for quite sometime. They are very much full of truth and knowledge. I suggest you also subsribe to it by clicking on his name. I'm sure he'll also send you one. If not, plz tell me. I'll forward your message to him.

DOOMED DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN TO STAY

Its very awkward when someone close to you gets suspicious of you even if you haven't done anything wrong. Its all the game of time and coincidence that anything you say and do, by circumstances, means that you never meant or thought about. That is very boring.

This is nothing but shit. When the person's attitude starts giving you problem, he starts pissing you off and thats when you get angry even if you dont' want to. This particular person is a wall of lead 1 m thick. He doesn't want to understand what you want to explain. He has got his own theory and sticks to it. Its very hard to get him out of that box. The real problem with this person is he doesn't speak out his feelings and thoughts.

Trying to explain and help him is surely a job you don't want to do at all.

Hell, this is one of the most difficult times of my life. I don't want to say it but I am really angry and tense about his attitude. He got to change it.

Real fact about laughing!!!

Back again to laughing!!!!!!!!!!!


Well, its medically proven that laughing helps toning up facial and abdomenal muscles and and also keeps your lungs and heart at pretty steady rate. Thats about the physiological health.

Laughing a lot also keeps your mind afresh. All your worries and problems vanish for sometime when you have a hearty laugh. Besides, there is a way of medication called laughter therapy for healing people emotionally and physically. Its for controlling your anger and your bad emotions. I suggest everyone should try it out. :>

Well, the name "Laughter the best medicine" is not my original creation. When I was school kid, I used to read a famous magazine, "Readers' Digest." Its a good magazine. I suggest you should try it once in a while. In that magazine, there is a regular section called "Laughter the best medicine" which contained jokes. I used to love it. Well, I like the magazine very much. Its a great read but that section was pretty funny. So thats where I got this name.

So join me in this crusade of taking laughter as the best dose of medicine. Don't forget to take your daily dose of laughter - the best medicine of all times.

:>

AM A DAMNED BAD SWIMMER

Well, I had a busy day yesterday. I went to visit my uncles yesterday and then went for a swimming with my friend. The day was hot and humid. I was sweating like hell. The water in the pool looked cool and refreshing. There, I learnt my lesson pretty badly.

Yesterday, I dived in a water body after a 5 year gap. I thought I still knew how to swim. I didn't hesitate at all diving into the pool. Call it my bad luck, I jumped into 6ft depth of water. I just couldn't come up! I was surprised at myself. Luckily I was near the shore. I quickly grabbed the railing and some good fellows passed on their hands to me. I grabbed it quickly and pulled myself up. I just couldn't swim at all.

Anyway, as I had learnt my lesson pretty badly, I knew it wasn't the same as before. I had to take sometime to ease my body. So then, I moved to 5 ft depth and started adapting there. Later in the day, I was able to swim ok. We swam for about an hour. By the end of the day, we both were tired like hell. When coming home in the bus, I felt asleep standing!

Back and home, I didn't have energy to move around at all. I checked my temperature. I had high fever. I took some snacks. I sweat a lot as it was quite hot. Then my temperature came down.

I still haven't recovered fully from my unknown disease. The doctors couldn't diagnose what is happening to me. I have become thinner but am now gaining some weight. :>

Anyway, that was my yesterday's rendezvous with myself. Next time I go swimming, I'll first adapt myself to water and then take swim like hell.