Thursday, March 29, 2007

Sardarji in Restaurant

Sardar Santa Singh goes to a Udipi hotel to have something to eat. He orders for Masala Dosa. The waiter

promptly gets him the dish but is surprised to see that Santa eats only the masala leaving the dosa behind. Santa

then orders for 1 plate Samosa. Again this time the waiter notices that Santa eats only the filling and not the

shell. Waiter is very curious. Santa next orders for Batata Vada. This time around also Santa eats only the filling

and leaves the shell behind.

The waiter is losing his patience and walking upto Santa asks him, "Sardarji, aap dish ke under ka hi cheez kyon

khaa rahe ho, kya baki cheez pasand nahi aaya..?"(why are you eating the inside stuff don't you like the rest of

it.) Santa Singh says, "Arre bhaiyya, aisi baat nahi. Hamaari tabiyat kuch teekh nahi isliye doctor ne kaha ki

baahar ka cheez mat khaya karo..."(I am not feeling so well so the doctor told me not to it outside stuff.)

HOW DOES THE SARDAR HONEY BEE MAKE HONEY?

HOW DOES THE SARDAR HONEY BEE MAKE HONEY?


Your options are:
a. By kissing the flower?
b. By licking the flower?
c. By kicking all the pollens?
d. All of the above?
e. None of the above??

Confused???










Check this picture:




Thursday, March 22, 2007

Sardarji in Tiger

Sardar Dhakaan Singh is big hunter.
Once he went to a zoo. At that
time big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo
officials sent everyone out of
the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is
inside the zoo but wandering freely.
Zoo people requested Sardar to go inside and
trap the tiger in a cage.
Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in
his jeep carrying a big gun.
While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he
noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared
he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is
very
near
to the jeep.
At that time the road separated into two paths
ahead, one to the left and other to the right.
Then cleverly, Dhakaan Singh put the left indicator on
and turned the jeep to the road on right.
The tiger runs into the left path.
With a sigh of relief, he drove forward.
After some time the roads meet and the same
situation arises again. Once more the road divides into two and
this
time our Sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on
and
turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right
side.
After some time the roads meet again to our
Sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again.
This time the road never divides and our Sardar thought
the tiger would catch him.
Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep
taking it to the left corner of the road. Then he held
his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles
which want to overtake.
The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and
runs forward and dissappears!
NOW TELL ME WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY??
ANSWER BELOW............







Scroll down...























MORAL: "There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too"

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Oops! Tech error wipes out Alaska info

Thought this was interesting enough to post here in my blog. I copied it from Yahoo! news. The link is:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070320/ap_on_re_us/lost_data


----------------------------------------------------------

By ANNE SUTTON, Associated Press Writer Tue Mar 20, 10:28 AM ET

JUNEAU, Alaska - Perhaps you know that sinking feeling when a single keystroke accidentally destroys hours of work. Now imagine wiping out a disk drive containing information for an account worth $38 billion.

That's what happened to a computer technician reformatting a disk drive at the Alaska Department of Revenue. While doing routine maintenance work, the technician accidentally deleted applicant information for an oil-funded account — one of Alaska residents' biggest perks — and mistakenly reformatted the backup drive, as well.

There was still hope, until the department discovered its third line of defense, backup tapes, were unreadable.

"Nobody panicked, but we instantly went into planning for the worst-case scenario," said Permanent Fund Dividend Division Director Amy Skow. The July computer foul-up, which wiped out dividend distribution information for the fund, would end up costing the department more than $200,000.

Over the next few days, as the department, the division and consultants from Microsoft Corp. and Dell Inc. labored to retrieve the data, it became obvious the worst-case scenario was at hand.

Nine months worth of applicant information for the yearly payout from the Alaska Permanent Fund was gone: some 800,000 electronic images that had been painstakingly scanned into the system months earlier, the 2006 paper applications that people had either mailed in or filed over the counter, and supporting documentation such as birth certificates and proof of residence.

And the only backup was the paperwork itself — stored in more than 300 cardboard boxes.

"We had to bring that paper back to the scanning room, and send it through again, and quality control it, and then you have to have a way to link that paper to that person's file," Skow said.

Half a dozen seasonal workers came back to assist the regular division staff, and about 70 people working overtime and weekends re-entered all the lost data by the end of August.

"They were just ready, willing and able to chip in and, in fact, we needed all of them to chip in to get all the paperwork rescanned in a timely manner so that we could meet our obligations to the public," Skow said.

Last October and November, the department met its obligation to the public. A majority of the estimated 600,000 payments for last year's $1,106.96 individual dividends went out on schedule, including those for 28,000 applicants who were still under review when the computer disaster struck.

Former Revenue Commissioner Bill Corbus said no one was ever blamed for the incident.

"Everybody felt very bad about it and we all learned a lesson. There was no witch hunt," Corbus said.

According to department staff, they now have a proven and regularly tested backup and restore procedure.

The department is asking lawmakers to approve a supplemental budget request for $220,700 to cover the excess costs incurred during the six-week recovery effort, including about $128,400 in overtime and $71,800 for computer consultants.

The money would come from the permanent fund earnings, the money earmarked for the dividends. That means recipients could find their next check docked by about 37 cents.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Old McDonald

Two redneck college football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the State game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________." Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?" Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed, then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

Deaf communication

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times."

Monday, March 12, 2007

Another good joke

Recently, here in the city, a leading (business) magazine organized top business men awards ceremony. One category focused on Best CEOs, which award, three people won. One of them is Sashin Joshi, he has gotten that award many times. He is a well known personality in management field here in Nepal. Many aspiring youths look up to him.

Here is his comment after he received the award:
"Feels great. I wonder if our political leaders like Girija and Prachanda will ever be able to grab this award."


This is another good joke in my political jokes series, and a satire to our political leaders, who don't have any vision, but just keep mumbling some bullshit words.

Nepal would definitely will be a good place to live and work if people like Sashin Joshi run the government.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Moral for late workers

It's half past 8 in the office, but the lights are still on... PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing... and who's at work? Most of them???



Take a closer look... All or most specimens are 20-something male species of the human race...



Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors... and why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!! Any guesses???



Let's ask one of them... Here's what he says... "What's there 2 do after going home... here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee. That is why I am working late... importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!



This is the scene in most research centres and software companies and other off-shore offices. Bachelors "time-passing" during late hours in the office, just bcoz they say they've nothing else to do...



Now what r the consequences... read on.



"Working" (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture. With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback (oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).



They aren't helping things too...To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!! Very soon, the boss starts expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.



So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... office is no longer a priority, family is... and that's when the problem starts... because u start having commitments at home too.



For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become a "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work. People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...



Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it". All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time.



So what's the moral of the story???



Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
Never put in extra time " *unless really needed *"
Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.



There are hundred other things to do in the evening...Learn music... Learn a foreign language... try a sport...TT, cricket.........importantly Get a boy/girl friend take him/her around town...



And for heaven's sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.



Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: "Life's calling, where are you?"