Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Software Development Metrics

The software engineering community has been placing a great deal of
emphasis lately on metrics and their use in software development. The
following metrics are probably among the most valuable for a software

The Pizza Metric
How: Count the number of pizza boxes in the lab.
What: Measures the amount of schedule under-estimation.
If people are spending enough after-hours time
working on the project that they need to have
meals delivered to the office, then there has
obviously been a mis-estimation somewhere.

The Aspirin Metric
How: Maintain a centrally-located aspirin bottle for use
by the team. At the beginning and end of each month,
count the number of aspirin remaining aspirin in the
What: Measures stress suffered by the team during the project.
This most likely indicates poor project design in the
early phases, which causes over-expenditure of effort
later on. In the early phases, high aspirin-usage
probably indicates that the product's goals or other
parameters were poorly defined.

The Beer Metric
How: Invite the team to a beer bash each Friday. Record the
total bar bill.
What: Closely related to the Aspirin Metric, the Beer Metric
measures the frustration level of the team. Among
other things, this may indicate that the technical
challenge is more difficult than anticipated.

The Creeping Feature Metric
How: Count the number of features added to the project after
the design has been signed off, but that were not requested
by any requirements definition.
What: This measures schedule slack. If the team has time to add
features that are not necessary, then there was too much
time allocated to a schedule task.

The "Duck!" Metric
How: This one is tricky, but a likely metric would be to
count the number of engineers that leave the room when
a marketing person enters. This is only valid after a
requirements document has been finalized.
What: Measures the completeness of the initial requirements.
If too many requirements changes are made after the product
has been designed, then the engineering team will be wary
of marketing, for fear of receiving yet another change to
a design which met all initial specifications.

The Status Report Metric
How: Count the total number of words dedicated to the project
in each engineer's status report.
What: This is a simple way to estimate the smoothness with which
the project is running. If things are going well, an item
will likely read, "I talked to Fred; the widgets are on
schedule." If things are not going as well, it will say,
"I finally got in touch with Fred after talking to his
phone mail for nine days straight. It appears that the
widgets will be delayed due to snow in the Ozarks, which
will cause the whoozits schedule to be put on hold until
widgets arrive. If the whoozits schedule slips by
three weeks, then the entire project is in danger of
missing the July deadline."

All the credits for this article goes to Patti Beadles.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Facts about vodka

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziplock freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

13. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the oil from your skin.

15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.


Monday, May 22, 2006

Nepalese Maoists in Kevin Sites

I came across this article by Kevin Sites. He has been following war torn nations around the world. Here is what he found about Maoists of Nepal.

There are some comments for the article. Personally speaking, they don't deserve to raise a comment on the topic because they don't know anything about Nepal. Due to the recent political developments, Nepal has become highlight of international news across the globe. They don't know why the maoists were born here and what should be done to solve the pertaining problem.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I will get my vengence

Some people, even if they are older and more experienced than me, have forgotten by their ignorance or by their pride, have forgotten that I am superior than them. They have taken me for granted and have tried to hurt me, my dignity and the self within me. They don't know what they are doing. They are consumed too much in their pride and artificial achievement of self.

Its not their time yet, to know me, what I really am and what I am really made of. I will make them feel that. They will learn it the hard way. When they will finally understand the meaning of me, they will be so much consumed in guilt that they won't find a single piece of string to cover their face.

I know how I will get my revenge. It will be the softest blow and the impact, the complete destruction of their self. They will get on their four claws to beg mercy from me, for I am the ultra MAN, I know the meaning of "I", I am the one and I am the ultimate truth, the truth which they have forgotten in the mid roads. They will dispise all the things they have thought they have achieved in the years they have existed so far. They will dispise their entire existence on this world. They will take themselves as the burden of this earth.

When they know this, they will cry for freedom from the guilt. They will beg to me to release them from that guilt.

That, is their ultimate punishment. They will never know what touched them. The result they see will be complete devastation of themselves.

I will stand amidst of them, their lifeless bodies deprived of the soul that keeps a human moving on.

Yes, I will get there, not today, not tomorrow, but some day soon. They will bow in front of me and call me the Ultimate.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Quite a view

I got this piece of text as forward mail from Vibek dai. It is different from the general Nepali thinking and I know the old lady has got a point. I totally agree with that. I didn't see an intellect face in the protest rallies I evidenced. Please read it all and comment on it if you have any.


From: JC Pathak []
Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2006 2:28 PM
Subject: A conversation with a mother in Nepal

My name is JC Pathak. I live in Connecticut. Through
various Nepalese websites and friends, I gathered your
email address. The purpose being, I wanted to share
with you all, a 15-minute telephone conversation I had
with my mother recently. My mother is quite a unique
person. I always end up having a random conversation
with her. While risking family backlash, especially
from my Vinaju and uncle, I am sending you all this
email, because for some strange reason, I find it
worth sharing. I understand how much we all hate junk
emails, so I sincerely apologize in advance if the
email catches you at a time of inconvenience.

What follows below is the real conversation I had with
my mother on Saturday, April 29, 2006.

Muwa: Hello?

JC: It's me.

Muwa: Janardhan?

JC: Yes.

Muwa: The line's very clear today. Where are you
calling from?

JC: Where else? From home. What's going on there? You
must be relieved it's all over now.

Muwa: That's what everyone says. I don't get it. How
is it over? It's not like Gyanendra announced he found
unlimited supply of water and electricity. Personally
I would choose water over Girija any day.

JC: I mean the uncertainty is over… at least you can
go outside now.

Muwa: Where can I go? I'm 61 years old. My husband
spends his entire time talking senseless politics with
his hopeless friends. My only daughter lives in
Denver, my only son lives in Contikut. Go where? All
my grandchildren live in Denver or Contikut…

JC: It's Connecticut.

Muwa: Whatever ticket… it's not Putali Sadak.

JC: If you're that bored in Nepal, why don't you come
over here? How many invitations do you need?

Muwa: And do what there? Your son doesn't speak a word
of Nepali. You work 12 hours a day. Banita is too
formal with me. What will I do in Contikut? I can't
even go out for a walk, it's cold even in Baisakh.
Move to Myemi next to Puskar uncle, I'll come.

JC: No city pays MBA like New York. That's why I'm
here. I don't get paid like this if I move to Miami.

Muwa: How's Banita doing?

JC: She's right here laughing, listening to you. We're
on the speaker phone.

Banita: Darshan Muwa.

Muwa: Darshan. How are you doing?

Banita: Not bad.

Muwa: Is he treating you right? I worry more about you
than my money-obsessed son.

Banita: He doesn't have time to treat me badly. How's
buwa doing?

Muwa: Like any 'Kaangresi' here, he's ecstatic. It's
easier to be happy, I guess, when you have a very
short memory. He really believes it's a victory. I
think his blood-pressure drug makes him hallucinate.

Banita: (laughs)… Nishant! Nishant! Come here, say
darshan to hajurmuwa.

Nishant (in the background): I don't feel like talking
to Dad's mom.

Muwa: What's he saying?

JC: He's in a bad mood.

Muwa: How come your son is always in a bad mood? If
his father devoted some time to him, perhaps, his mood
will change. I've never heard of a seven-year-old
who's so eternally in a bad mood. If you have no time
for him, why don't you take him to a child sikatryst
and fix him?

JC: Banita will teach him a lesson, he listens to her…

Muwa: He needs both parents.

JC: Ok. We'll talk about him later. So how did you
pass time during the 'Aandolan'?

Muwa: I knitted a sweater for your father.

JC: Why would you knit a sweater in April?

Muwa: I had to do something… remind myself I was
alive. Unlike your father, I'm too old and too wise to
be animated by watching people protest.

JC: Buwa must be captivated by all this. He must spend
all his time on the phone.

Muwa: That he does. But there's no one on the other
end listening. Everyone's talking here. No one's

JC: That's politics.

Muwa: That's lunacy. We listen to a parrot for god's
sakes. Nobody listens to nobody here. Everyone is
running like a mad man with a flag and an opinion.
This is mental.

JC: But things look different from here. For the

Muwa: I know your CNN is telling you it's a hope. Just
remember my words… in six months from today these
selfish, greedy, shortsighted leaders will be at each
other's throat.

JC: You have to understand, whoever they are, leaders
are important for democracy.

Muwa: Exactly my point. But what we have here are not
leaders. These are protesters. Girija, Madhav, or
Gagan, or who not, these are all protesters. Nothing
more. A leader should be a protester, a diplomat, a
philosopher, an intellect, an orator, and a listener.
These so called leaders here are limited to being
protesters. These people can't govern, they can only
march. And if one party starts governing, the other
parties start marching. It's such a vicious cycle that
depresses the heaven out of me.

JC: Obviously I have not thought this through as much
as you have. But trust me I have lived in a free
country, in the end freedom works. When people start
focusing on their survival paycheck, the country tames
itself out. That's what Nepal needs.

Muwa: Work where? Who's providing the work? You think
we have infrastructure for anything? And don't give me
that American democracy lecture. I too have read
American history. White people who owned black slaves,
revolting against another group of lazier white
people, is not a revolution. It's an irony. If British
white people had revolted to free black slaves from
American white people, then that could have qualified
as a revolution. Your Wall's Tree white executives
have brainwashed you.

JC: For someone who knows so much, how come you can't
pronounce a single name correctly? It's not Wall's
Tree. It's Wall Street. When you visited Wall Street
three years ago, did you see any tree growing out of a

Muwa: I wouldn't know. They didn't teach me
pronunciation in Kanya Mandir. I didn't go to St.
Xavier's. Anyways, I want to be remembered for what I
say, not how I say it. Accent is for people who have
no content.

JC: Well said. Sometimes I wish you were born in this
country… It's weird that you don't seem to be moved by
all this that's taking place in Nepal. What happened
to my radical mother of Padma Kanya Campus 2022 Bikram

Muwa: She grew up to understand that hope too has an
expiration date

JC: I remember you were so excited in 1990.

Muwa: I was only 45. I was naïve.

JC: Would you rather the king have it all?

Muwa: I'd rather, your uncle, who marched for
democracy everyday, not kick his servant in the
stomach for accidentally spilling his tea. I'd rather
people knew what democracy is about, before chanting
and marching for it.

JC: Baldev uncle is a lunatic.

Muwa: Not just your Baldev uncle, everyone here's a
lunatic. Nobody gets it until they don't have it. When
they have it, they don't know what to do with it. So
they abuse it. And they are back to not having it… and
they march and protest for not having it.

JC: You're talking about democracy or servants?

Muwa: You know what I'm talking about. For people
here, democracy is about the freedom to be corrupt.
And those who are not corrupt, like your buwa, they
are gravely ineffective and incompetent.

JC: Muwa listen, I'm being sincere now. People are not
as wise as you are. They need a system. People like
you can operate on your own. Think about it, you
operated in spite of buwa. He doesn't know how to boil
water. He never made a cup of tea in his 66 years.
People like buwa need something to cling on to,
because they don't function from within. You are
self-sufficient and you have this can-do attitude,
these changes won't have impact on your life, but for
someone like buwa, who seeks hope elsewhere, what
happened recently is an achievement.

Muwa: Save that, in case BBC interviews you.

JC: Was it a little over the top? Banita is laughing

Muwa: Kidding aside, you're right. Your buwa worries
me. Sometimes I worry what he will do if something
happens to me. The man takes everything for granted.

JC: Buwa is such a happy-go-lucky guy; you have to
give him that. I've never seen him stressed out about
anything. You worry about everything.

Muwa: Because I think.

JC: Buwa also thinks. Maybe not important stuff. I'm
darn sure he is worried about Girija's health.

Muwa: You know your buwa still suffers from
constipation once in a while. Every time he's
constipated badly, he looks at me as if I'm going to
help him with that too. I don't know how, but I can
see in his eyes, begging for help. I think he wants me
to push for him, I suppose…

JC: (laughter)… You and your buwa jokes. Banita
laughed so hard, diet coke came out of her nose… I'm
pretty sure he is not at home right now?

Muwa: He went for a morning walk. Hasn't been back
yet. Must be somewhere sipping tea and talking

JC: He's a netaa. That's what they do.

Muwa: I don't get it. Someone like your buwa is a
netaa in this country. He doesn't understand how a
family runs. I'll guarantee you he doesn't know where
his shaving cream is. How can someone like him help
the government run this country? Don't you need to
have some kind of experience of running something? At
least some experience of running your own life?

JC: Guess not. Does he still snore?

Muwa: You bet. When your mind is that empty,
everything must clog up on your nasal passage.

JC: (laughter)… Banita is rolling on the floor again.

Muwa: You have a good wife, keep her happy.

JC: Don't spoil her. We're on the speaker phone.

Muwa: How are your didi and the rest in Denver?

JC: Dijju and the kids are fine. I talked to them last
night. Vinaju, like Buwa, is very excited about this
Aandolan thing. He keeps on sending mass emails with
his opinion. He really writes horrible… both in
English and in substance, he's really bad. It's

Muwa: I hear he's pretty good in computer.

JC: He's a very good computer programmer.

Muwa: That's the problem with us Nepali. We just can't
stick to what we are good at. Your vinaju is a
technical person, not an intellect. I don't get it why
he has to show his weakness to the whole world by
having an opinion?

JC: I can't agree more.

Muwa: What else is new in Contikut? Connect-ticket?

JC: It sucks here. You know my grass in the front yard
isn't that good this year. I don't know what to do. I
spent hours last October fertilizing it.

Muwa: You must be devastated. And people say Nepal has
a crisis.

JC: Very funny. By the way, did you guys have enough
food during the curfew?

Muwa: We had enough rice and potatoes. Some days we
ate rice and potatoes, and other days we had potatoes
and rice.

JC: Someone needs to retire that joke, even you
couldn't make that funny… How are our neighbors? How
is Abhay? Any improvement?

Muwa: I wasn't going to bring this up, since you did…
Abhay got shot in the rally. He was in a serious
condition, but they're saying now he will be fine.

JC: Abhay? Who took him to the rally? He's mentally
retarded. What kind of mentally retarded person takes
a mentally retarded person to a rally?

Muwa: Protesters wanted a big number. To cater BBC,
CNN, and Times of India, I suppose. Your uncle took
his daughter to the rally.

JC: She's eleven.

Muwa: How do you think we got the parliament? Are you
not happy we have a parliament now? Everything will be
ok now.

JC: Sarcasm won't solve our country's problems either,
muwa. For an argument's sake, forget about Girija,
Deuba, and the others… this Maoist thing, it doesn't
bother you?

Muwa: I wake up every morning at 5:30. Most of the
days, there's no water to begin my day. I clean the
pooja room and do my pooja, sweep the bedroom and make
our bed. By that time your father's guests start
arriving. I make at least four rounds of tea every
morning. I help Narahari cook and clean. By the time I
get a chance to breathe, it's already 11. Then there
are other dozens of chores with cleaning and gardening
and laundry and what not. I'm still fighting with my
diabetes and blood pressure. Then there are other
headaches like five-hour long load shedding. Tell me
what time of the day should I worry about the Maoists?

JC: You need a break. Come over.

Muwa: Fix your son, I'll come.

JC: Now you're being harsh.

Muwa: I heard him call me 'Dad's mom'. I can't
pronounce like you, but I understand English.

JC: Trust me he will be punished. Banita wants to say

Banita: Muwa, I was praying that you didn't hear that.
I'll make sure he gets punished.

Muwa: You guys are really naïve. How can you guys make
him interested in us by punishing him? When I say fix
him, I meant fix him by fixing yourself. Especially
you, Janardhan. Pay attention to your kid, spend time
with him, tell him about his family, your childhood,
your parents, your sister, make him understand the
concept of being a family. Fix your home first, there
are enough people in the street to worry about Nepal.

JC: It's not like I'm not trying. My work is very

Muwa: No job on this planet is more important than
being a good parent… Your buwa may have flaws, but he
was a great father. When you were kids, you and your
sister enjoyed every second of your time with him.

JC: I'm not that old not to remember that. You don't
know how much dijju and I appreciate that. We were
talking about that even last night.

Muwa: You do the same. Save time for your family. By
the way, you seem to have developed a whole lot of
interest in your country lately.

JC: Because it's everywhere, on TV, on the Internet.
Everywhere. The entire world is watching Nepal. It's
an important event.

Muwa: Trust me it's not important. What you did was
important. Leaving this country was important. I was
looking at the rally on TV the other day; it occurred
to me, any person in that crowd, any one of them, if
he is given a visa to America, he will leave this
country in a heartbeat. Good ones and lucky ones have
already left. What you saw on TV was the gathering of
residues. Those who have not found a way to escape. I
tell you, unless you want to mock us, don't be
interested in us. We have become a zoo. Foreigners
come, take our pictures, and run the headlines: "Look
at these people, even they are trying." I'm telling
you, do your thing. What you're doing is important.
You are working. You are helping the economy.

JC: Now you're generalizing. I'm pretty sure there are
many brilliant people left in Nepal.

Muwa: Of course there are many brilliant people stuck
in Nepal. Most of them not by choice. The strangest
thing is watching these intellectuals trying their
best, so that you don't notice them feel sorry for

JC: I only have a minute left.

Muwa: I have many years left.

JC: I was talking about my phone card.

Muwa: I was talking about the time we will not spend
talking to each other. Like now.

JC: C'mon don't make me feel guilty. You have this
uncanny ability to make my every call a guilt trip.
Send me your writings. Hopefully, Buwa has learned to
scan the papers. One of these days, I'll convert your
writings into English and have my colleagues and
friends read it…

Muwa: Why?

JC: I think your creative skepticism is worth sharing…

Muwa: Don't do it.

JC: Why not?

Muwa: Because writing is as much about language. You
lose the gist in translation. I read the Hindi version
of the Hyaree Pautter. I didn't like it. I bet it was
written for English speaking world.

JC: I should have bought that 30-minute card. I'll
call you next week, same time. Tell Buwa to be at

Muwa: Are you all happy there?

JC: We have water.

Muwa: That's important.

JC: For grass it is.

Lord Shiva going 3D

I came across this blog while surfing. It has good materials, optical illusion pictures. You can benefit from it.

Friday, May 05, 2006


Question: What is the true definition of Globalization?

Princess Diana's death

How come?

An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel driving a German car with a
Dutch engine driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi on Japanese motorcycles treated by an American doctor using Brazilian medicines This is sent to you using Bill Gates's technology and u r probably reading this on your computer that uses Taiwanese chips and Korean monitor assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Nepalese/Indian/Middle-east truck drivers.

That's globalization!!