Thursday, May 24, 2007

Newton, Pascal, Einstein

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek


Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching.....


Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........


Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.


Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........


Einstein says " newton's out..newton's out....."


Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton......"


All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.


Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared...... Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Impressing Client

Another forwarded joke but a good one. I will try this trick myself sometime soon. Thanks to Saroj.

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I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks
ago.

While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner,
enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was a! lso
flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft
chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would
do me a favor."

"Yes?"

"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, and I' m
waiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she
arrives as to come walk by and just say "Hi Tom?"
"Sure."

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten
minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to
talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was
Bill Gates.

"Hi, Tom," he said.

I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Short Father Son jokes

Got these jokes in forwarded email. Found them interesting. Please read and try to break a laugh.

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Dad to son: when I beat you how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning toilet
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush

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When ur life is in darkness pray to GodAsk him to free u from darkness and Even after you pray and you are still in darkness,Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

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Father to son after exam: let me see your report card.
Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

New Nepal’s Politicking Grasshoppers

I found this article in one of the blogs I have hosted. I think its a good read. Please enjoy it.

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New Nepal’s Politicking Grasshoppers

Courtesy - Sanzay

My father used to encourage me when I was a kid with this old story……

“The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant’s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. In coming winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.” Now as my father is gone so seems his moral lesson…

New Version of the old story in the 21st Century

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant’s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. In coming winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving. KANTIPUR, AJTAK, DW, CCTV 9, BBC, CNN, NDTV, NTV show up to cover the footage of the shivering grasshopper, next to the video is the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this poor grasshopper be allowed to suffer so?

Sujata Koirala quickly wraps up her morning breakfast at the Yak and Yeti and arrives at the spot with a congress flag to stage a vehement demonstration in front of the ant’s house.

Krishna Pahadi goes on a hunger strike at the Maitighar Mandala along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

UN secretary general Ban Ki-moon, Linda Sundh and Mathew Kahane criticize the Nepalese Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support for the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).

Hrydayesh Tripathi after parking his big Land Cruiser in a safe shelter demands for “grasshopper’s inclusion in the parliament”. At his advise MP’s staged walkout from parliament.

Comrade Prachanda after learning that the creatures called grasshoppers do exist from Comrade Baburam, released a press statement highlighting the contribution of the grasshopper to the communist movement in Nepal and immediately called for “Nepal Bandh”.

Madhav Nepal summoned Mr. K.P Oli to Balkhu Darbur and orders to passes a law through the cabinet preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers or else threaten to walk out of government.

Gagan Thapa and Raj Kumari Jhakri quickly burn 100 tires in protest and called for allocation of ten percent scholarship to martyr Grasshoppers children in school and colleges.

Finally, five retired judge of Supreme court Judicial Committee drafted and submitted the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]”, with strong recommendation to implement before winter.

Mr. Girija Prasad Koirala on the recommendation of high level commission makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Institutions & in Govt Services.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by Image channel exclusively.

Krishna Pahadi calls it “a triumph of justice”. Gagan calls it ‘Socialistic Justice’. Maoist calls it the ‘revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden’ Ban Ki-moon invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

MANY YEARS LATER…. somewhere around in 2030

Since then, the ants have sold their last remaining of whatever they had, borrowed some money and migrated to the US. Many of them started successful careers in some reputed US Companies and some started business of their own.

President Chelsea Clinton sent a letter of appreciation to migrant Nepalese ant for their contribution toward US economy. Back in Nepal people are celebrating,since the dissolved house has been recently reinstated after janandolan-8 and the “people’s government” was formed… newly appointed Minister for education Gagan Thapa puts a garland around
the statue of a martyr grasshopper killed recently in a “brutal” police shooting during police post attack… they observe a minute of silence and vowed for “Super New Nepal”…KMC truck is seen down the road collecting the remains of recently burnt tires.