Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Possessive = Insecure = No Self-Confidence

So lets talk about relationship again.

What do you mean by being possessive. Now I am not talking about what parents and other family members. I am talking about a boy/girl relationship. I have heard boys saying, "my girlfriend too possessive about me, if she finds me talking to some girls, she will instantly get angry and pour over me", and from girls side, I do hear the same thing! And they giving explanation, "I dare not do that. I don't to hurt him/her. I love him/her too much."

So whats the fuss about it? I have heard many of my friends in (steady) relationship telling me something like that (are they complaining or grumbling???). When I hear such things, I feel pity on them. I then say, thats not a kind of relationship! Its bullshit. There is no trust at all! There is just lie and suspicion between the couple. They actually don't care for each other, moreover, they don't think about their other half at all! They are just living (or trying to live, rather existing) within themselves, always being suspicious about their other half. I would say to them, they aren't in love at all, they are pretending to be, they think they are, they say it, but they don't actually feel it. They don't know what love is at all!

So lets define love. I am not trying to be an idealist, I am not and I won't be an idealist. I cannot fully define it, but this is what I think, this is my conception about love.

I have seen some pretty good relationships as well, The couples are now happily married. I think their pairs were made in heaven (if it exists, for me, where I stand, where I live is heaven and hell). I have seen them fall in love, propose to each other, go on dates, like any other couples. They fight, they don't talk for days and in the end, they patch up again. The main difference I find between them and other couples is that, they have respect for each other and they love each other very much. The couples I had seen, are now married and are living a good life. They sure have a good future ahead. They always have time for each other, love for each other. They share everything they have, they don't limit anything to self only. They live in the happiness of the other. Rather saying, they complete each other. As single, they are half, and when together, they are full. The equation is balanced, the dynamic state is now stable and calm. They compliment each other.

Here is what I summarized from a book I read (the fountainhead, by ayn rand), "love is a thing to which you look upwards, its a kind of solace to you, you always look up to it to cleanse yourself in it. there is just love and nothing else, you can expand yourself into a big universe or shrink yourself into just a small atom when you are in it, when you are with your loved one, you don't have anything in your heart or mind, its just you and nothing else."

I was talking to one of my chat friends, and told her the same thing. She was amazed by the concept.

Talking about our topic again, being possessive means, being insecure actually. You are too much suspicious about your other half. Actually, you aren't in love at all. They are afraid all the time if their counter part will choose another person. They aren't confident about themselves at first!

Being not confident about the self makes him/her insecure about him/herself. Not being confident about oneself makes him/her insecure, insignificant. He/she always wants attention from others. They try to get from others what they lack. But self-confidence is a thing that has to be inside you. You can't get it from others.

People in successful relationships are confident about themselves as well as their partners. So they don't care what the other does at all. They have fun when they are together, share light moments and enjoy each other's company.

Lets all vie for self confidence. Then only, we can have a true relationship, and we can succeed in anything we do.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

A person from far and near

Below is a set of pictures to be seen from far and near. All the text written are in Nepali. What it says is as follows:
Character and face of a person

It cannot be said that what a person appears from near is exactly the same when you see him from far. Like elephant has two sets of teeth, one to show off and another to eat, the character of a person is also the same, a person behaves totally differently when is near and far. People have habit of backbiting. They do it when they are far off from you and praise you when they are in front of you.

The following pictures are just optical illusion. When you see the left picture from near, it seems quite angry but when you see it from about 10 ft far off, its the smiling face, whereas the picture in the right is exactly opposite.

With a person's character, what you see might not be the same.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Am I also conservative???

Am writing this post after a long break. Too many things have changed lately since my last post. Things good and bad (mostly bad), things that have taken some part of me and left me stranded somewhere, making me to think more of myself, what I am or what type of nature I have and many more things like that.

My uncle expired, one of my relatives also expired and I was busy on all those stuffs. I have heard of lots of death lately in my family circle. Since my brother is not here and my dad is not that strong now, I have to take charge of things. I was running here and there on lots of stuffs. I had to become a family member at the same time and even take care of my work here in office. So I was in very difficult situation in last few weeks.

Now, things are changing, settling down but still many things on the run. Its getting difficult for me to catch up all the things. I cannot have all the things on my plate. I cannot digest all of them. I do have to leave something on the plate.

During the same timeline, I encountered something, rather someone who as made me think about what I actually am.

One of my niece, returned from UK. She had gone there with her parents few months back. On her return, she had completely changed (she might have slightly as I wasn't much familiar with her when she was here). She shouts alot but is very sweet. With all her childish innocence (added with a pinkish flavour), she talked with me. She told me about her desires, likes and dislikes and great many things. That was interesting. We even gave her few nicknames during her stay here. She is leaving for UK in few days now.

Well, when she goes, I surely will miss her shouts, her phone calls and her beatings as well. But it doesn't matter, there is always another day.

What made me think was what she said to me. Well, everybody is possessive to his/her children. That maybe the case with me as well. She was talking about her boyfriends and her activities in England. I would also do such things if I get chance and I won't wait to be in UK for that! But when she was talking, I just snapped and said that doing such things are not good, such things don't fit in our culture.

But actually, after a few years' time, will she be a Nepali? I don't think she will speak Nepali at all. She will be a Brit. And all those things will be in her culture.

Thats what I think. So far, I have considered myself as a liberal and progressive. I don't care if my nephews and nieces have boyfriends or girlfriends and what clothes they wear. But deep down in heart, there is something that always keeps banging. What is that part I don't know? Does that thing is the traditional part or the culture in which I grew up? Things don't add up correctly on these issues. I don't know at all.

Anyway, I still need to do alot of thinking over myself - what I actually am and what I want to be. There are still many days ahead of me and great things to do. No time to spend at all.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

What's your Star Sign - Body Paints continued

I found this pretty interesting pictures in Xinhua. I hope you guys will enjoy these as well.