So lets talk about relationship again.
What do you mean by being possessive. Now I am not talking about what parents and other family members. I am talking about a boy/girl relationship. I have heard boys saying, "my girlfriend too possessive about me, if she finds me talking to some girls, she will instantly get angry and pour over me", and from girls side, I do hear the same thing! And they giving explanation, "I dare not do that. I don't to hurt him/her. I love him/her too much."
So whats the fuss about it? I have heard many of my friends in (steady) relationship telling me something like that (are they complaining or grumbling???). When I hear such things, I feel pity on them. I then say, thats not a kind of relationship! Its bullshit. There is no trust at all! There is just lie and suspicion between the couple. They actually don't care for each other, moreover, they don't think about their other half at all! They are just living (or trying to live, rather existing) within themselves, always being suspicious about their other half. I would say to them, they aren't in love at all, they are pretending to be, they think they are, they say it, but they don't actually feel it. They don't know what love is at all!
So lets define love. I am not trying to be an idealist, I am not and I won't be an idealist. I cannot fully define it, but this is what I think, this is my conception about love.
I have seen some pretty good relationships as well, The couples are now happily married. I think their pairs were made in heaven (if it exists, for me, where I stand, where I live is heaven and hell). I have seen them fall in love, propose to each other, go on dates, like any other couples. They fight, they don't talk for days and in the end, they patch up again. The main difference I find between them and other couples is that, they have respect for each other and they love each other very much. The couples I had seen, are now married and are living a good life. They sure have a good future ahead. They always have time for each other, love for each other. They share everything they have, they don't limit anything to self only. They live in the happiness of the other. Rather saying, they complete each other. As single, they are half, and when together, they are full. The equation is balanced, the dynamic state is now stable and calm. They compliment each other.
Here is what I summarized from a book I read (the fountainhead, by ayn rand), "love is a thing to which you look upwards, its a kind of solace to you, you always look up to it to cleanse yourself in it. there is just love and nothing else, you can expand yourself into a big universe or shrink yourself into just a small atom when you are in it, when you are with your loved one, you don't have anything in your heart or mind, its just you and nothing else."
I was talking to one of my chat friends, and told her the same thing. She was amazed by the concept.
Talking about our topic again, being possessive means, being insecure actually. You are too much suspicious about your other half. Actually, you aren't in love at all. They are afraid all the time if their counter part will choose another person. They aren't confident about themselves at first!
Being not confident about the self makes him/her insecure about him/herself. Not being confident about oneself makes him/her insecure, insignificant. He/she always wants attention from others. They try to get from others what they lack. But self-confidence is a thing that has to be inside you. You can't get it from others.
People in successful relationships are confident about themselves as well as their partners. So they don't care what the other does at all. They have fun when they are together, share light moments and enjoy each other's company.
Lets all vie for self confidence. Then only, we can have a true relationship, and we can succeed in anything we do.
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