Back again to by very own blog.
They say, frustration is the root cause of anger. So, am I frustrated? Definitely not! I am angry because I am angry and I am angry with myself.
Lately, so much things are happening around me. I am so much consumed in myself and my work that I have not been able to keep up with them. I am falling behind.
Talking to people is also not helping at all. Everybody has got his/her own problems. Well, I am pretty good at suggesting and helping others, but I can't solve my own. When I need help, I don't find anybody around. So, its all alone that I have to face my problems. Does it make me stronger? Or does it push me away from the crowd?
When I was a kid, I used to get angry alot. That used to ventilate all my emotions. Now, as I have grown up, I have submerged myself into this worldly affairs. I cannot directly show how I feel, what I feel and why I feel. I sometimes have to pretend that there is nothing even if there is hell lots of things happening inside me. Now, I can hold my anger. For how long? Sometimes, I just want to shout "Hell! F**k off!! Leave me alone!" or just land my fist on someones face. Those are just fantasies for me now.
But there are some better things happening to me as well. I can use that anger to something else. Fight the depression, show the people what I am really made of, or to just cut them out. So, there is nothing much to worry about. But holding down emotions for long is not that good, is it?
So, I am standing in the middle. The line which separates sanity from insanity, calm from angry and so on. I think I cannot hold myself much on this threshold.
Well, bungee jumping is a pretty good option to ventilate all of my bad feelings.
Mind you guys, I am not feeling depressed. I am never depressed. I am feeling great. Nor even am I in any tension. Sushil doesn't take any tension, gives tension to others.
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