1) Getting married is very much like going to continental
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and
then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish
you had ordered that.
2) At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
?Aren?t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?? The other replied, ?Yes, I am. I married
the wrong man.?
3) Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is really finished.
4) A happy marriage is a matter of give and take;
the husband gives and the wife takes.
5) Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
bachelor?s degree and the woman gets her master?s.
6) A little boy asked his father, ?Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?? And the father replied,
?I don?t know, son, I?m still paying for it.?
7) Young son: ?Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn?t know his wife until he marries
her?? Dad: ?That happens in most countries son.?
8) Then there was a man who said, ?I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.?
9) When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But when a ten-year married man looks happy we wonder why.
10) Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of
marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the
second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In
the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
11) After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, ?You know, I
was a fool when I married you.? And the husband replied,
?Yes dear, but I was in love and didn?t notice it.?
12) It doesn?t matter how often a married man changes his job,
he still ends up with the same boss.
13) A man inserted an ?ad? in the classifieds: ?Wife wanted?.
The next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said
the same thing ?You can have mine?.
14) When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can
be sure of one thing; either the car is new or the wife.
15) A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.
16) A woman was telling her friend, ?It is I who made my husband
a millionaire.? ?And what was he before you married him??
asked the friend. The woman replied, ?A multi-millionaire.?
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