AWKWARD SITUATIONS IN LIFE

There comes a moment in everybody's life, when s/he is out of words. Yesterday, I had such an experience. Such moments come and go, but yesterday's moment had a lasting impact on me.

One of my close friends, is going to England soon. She says her family doesn't understand her at all and don't give priority to her needs and feelings. Well, we have been together for the last 4 years, I think and we are pretty close now. We talk a great deal. We talk about everything.

I found out she has a boyfriend now and wants to get married with the same guy. She knows its not possible if she tries to get her family's consent because they are not going to agree. We talked briefly about this yesterday as it was a surprise for me. Suprisingly, the couple talked about everything except about themselves. And that was pretty amazing. So far, I have found out, if two people have relationship, then there is lots of sharing, discussing about feelings of each other and talking about their likes and dislikes. This didn't apply to them.

So I said there wasn't a relationship at all, they were just two strangers meeting and talking about something funny.

The thing that jolted, was, I also know, her family doesn't give damn to her feelings. She needs love, she needs to be loved, hence she keeps looking for that. Since she is not getting it from her family, she is looking outside the family. She is looking for love. I worry about her.

When I left Pokhara, she was not like that. She was a strong girl with a strong determination. Yesterday, I found her strength had vanished. She had become weaker. That is a bad thing.

We are best friends. I want to help her. When she said that, I was out of words. And that is what I told her. I don't have any word to say to her. She knows will always be there to help her. As I am master of words, I later expressed myself.

I am just a kid starting to crawl now. I have great lot of things to do and see. Till now also, I have learnt a lot. I told her, I will give her any amount of emotional support I can. That is what I am best at. I will not let her down. I will do anything that is within my prowess to help her.

Dear friend, as you also are my mentor, I will do anything I can to bring your confidence and strength back. Just count on me.

ANGER OR FRUSTRATION

I don't know about others, but for me, a very thin line separates from anger and frustration. The anger I am talking about is not of others, but being angry with myself. I don't know whether I am frustrated or angry. I just don't feel good.

The reason behind this, is quite personal. I don't know what to do. I just get confused. I try many things but never succeed which leads to frustration and then to anger. I cannot eliminate the root cause as well since it is very dear to me. I am in a dilemma. I cannot make sure what I should do. Should I just keep continuing the way I am right now or change myself? If I change myself, I think, I'll hurt some people as well. I don't want to that either.

Generally, I am the guru for suggesting my friends from helping them out of their difficult situations. I have helped a great deal of people. Now its my time to get some help. I think nobody understands my problem or I cannot communicate it properly. But I am good at talking. I can make people laugh and cry. This time, I am a true failure, which I am not at all by nature.

Maybe my problem is with the wrong thing, or maybe I am stuck in past or I cannot convince others or I am not sure of what I want. But I am sure of what I want! Then definitely it is any of the former problems. I don't know.

I think I need to take a crash course on how to make a woman happy.

PROFESSOR OF MATHEMATICS

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

FRIENDS FOREVER - ENEMIES HIDDEN WITHIN

Remembering the golden old days that I spent in EasyPage, I feel happy and gay. I have made friends, some foes as well. But the overall aura of the employment period of EasyPage was just great. When we friends meet, we still remember those days, and our mischievious deeds there. I was in the top list to exploit the office resources. I talked on phone for hours, used the internet, drank and fought. I did everything there.

Friday night, those moments came alive again. Some friends from Pokhara had come here for their personal business. We then met at Bishalbazar just to sit and talk. But I was thinking about a grand party. Sadly some of my friends had quitting drinking and smoking. Good for them. Well they must have learnt their lesson quite a lot. We just roamed around, went to a hotel at Sundhara to meet some other friends. While being there, it became clearer that we weren't enjoying that night at all. I was kind of feeling bad about it. The Pokhara guys planned to stay back in the hotel. Finding it was of no use staying there, I asked the guys to move out. I wanted to have some fun, any kind of fun then. I was kind of desparate. I had a long day.

Then we went to New Road and did some shopping, we were all still together. Then Rahul asked should we enjoy some beer. I said, "hell Yes!. Lets go for it." So then the vibe came back again and the party started in the small restaurant in Bangemuda.

Well, there everybody vomitted out their old hidden desires of EasyPage. I think I was the cleanliest one. I am the clean one. I transformed the whole environment of EasyPage after I joined it. I am the man.

I had a problem with one of the friends from Pokhara. I knew he had something hidden from me. I wanted to take it out. That was the only opportunity and I didn't let it go. I hit the bullseye. I enjoyed it most. Well, everybody knows what happened when I left the office.

It doesn't matter much now since I was right and they were wrong. Later in the evening, I smoked a cigarette, after about 6 months, remembered our old deeds and enjoyed. I was back home at around 10. All in all, it was a good worthful day.

I met my friends, I met my girl, I drank, I smoked and I enjoyed. That was fun.

Saturday also, it was quite a day. I met the EasyPage friends once again and bade them farewell as they were on their way to Pokhara. I did enjoy it though.

Remembering all those days back of EasyPage, I remember just one thing. "Be careful from your enemies, but always stay aware of your friends because you know what your foes are going to do to you, you don't know when your friend is going to stab you on the back."

Yeah, I was kind of stabbed by my friend on my back.

BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck."
His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." Adam decided to to his friend's advice.

The next day at the bar his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

"Yes, I did," Adam replied.

"Did she like it?"

"Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"

POTTER MANIA

Tomorrow Saturday, the sixth book of Harry Potter, "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" will unveiled. It is moreover a worldwide launch of the book. Millions of readers around the world have been anticipating it for over than a year.

All of the five books, till now, have created quite a rave worldwide. The Harry Potter movies also, have taken this rave much more further. I didn't like any of those movies cuz I watched them after reading the books. They are nothing like the books anyway. Yet, I give credit to the movie crew for making such spectacle effects and scenes. It is quite hard to materialize the magical scenario set in the books into the movie screen.

Now the sixth book. One of the most anticipated books of all times. It was #1 bestseller in Amazon.com from two months ahead of its release. Just imagine how many books had been ordered in advance!

I am also a Harry Potter fan somewhat myself. I have read all the five books. I got the first four as a gift from my American sister, Shira Abeles, who is now doing Medicine somewhere in USA. Hey Shira, thanks for addicting me to Harry Potter. Those books were just magical and fun reading. I just got glued to it. I couldn't separate them from myself! You must have had the same feelings while reading the book.

I bought the fifth book myself here in Kathmandu after about 2 months of its release. I bought it in a good bargain. It was worth it. The book was good but its climax was kind of cinematic to me. I don't know what others feel about it.

So, there has been much speculations about this "Half Blood Prince." I am also waiting to reveal the secrets. And there are news in limelight, some books had been sold in US and Canada by the mistake of retailers but the books have been return. I don't know how many people are dying for the book to release. Its just 24 hours away from today or 36 hrs!

Lets hope this sixth installment of the series will be as much fun as the earlier ones.

And there is another rather sad news. I read in the newspaper today, Pope Benedict XVI commenting on the Harry Potter books. As the newspaper said, the Pope said that the Harry Potter books are not in terms with the teachings of Christianity and hence should be discarded. Hell! That is rather a funny comment. I do hope he is also a fan of Harry Potter (maybe a SuperFan!).

I think all the literature products, books, novels, poems, essays, biographies and more, are above any religion and their teachings except those like Bible, Geeta, Quaran and many more. They are the work of creative mind, work of philosophy, written solely by human being for human being. They shouldn't be connected with any religion and discredited. Rather, we should welcome all the ideas presented in the books. I may be saying this cuz I am a bookworm but this is what I feel.

So, my dear Pope, I respect you alot. But I don't agree with you in this thing. There is no Christianity nor Hinduism nor Islamism or Buddhism in the books of Harry Potter. It is a work of imagination and work of art and philosophy. Please don't critisize it again with respect to Christianity. I believe in Christ. He was the Man. But this kind of thinking is bad for him.

So, lets keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best for "Half Blood Prince". Man, I am dying to get that books in my hand.

TATTO MAGIC

This guy really loved his girlfriend alot and as a token of his affection, he tattooed his erm.. member (penis) with his girlfriends name on it. When fully aroused it read 'Wendy.' When he wasnt it read 'Wdy.' of course.

So anywhose, they go on a brilliant sun kissed holiday to Jamrika (Jamaica) and they were having the best time on the beach. It was normal for nudes to walk round and no one blinked an eye. They managed to get nude and lie down under an umbrella. Wendy told her man, " to be a darling" and fetch her drink from the beach bar..he felt kinda embarrassed about his apparant nudity he told her but u know women, she said, "dont worry sweety, its more or less a nude beach, you're not the only one!"

So he reluctantly agreed and walked off naked as a baby towards beach bar. As he approached he saw a Rastafarian dude, to the guys relief this rasta man was indeed nude as he was, so immediately felt much better. He then realised this rasta man also had "Wdy' on his penis! He said,
"Wooow, what a amazing coincidence, so your wife's name is also Wendy!"
"Naaahhh man!," says the Rasta,
"So why u got 'Wdy' then, what does it stand for?"
The Rasta then smirks slyly and replies, " It stands for, 'Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day!"

Of Parrots and Priests

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem.I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, an we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can
teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying...that phrase...in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:

"Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence.

Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

NAME GAME

A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown" The small white guy faints!!

The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy. "What's wrong?". The small white guy says; "Excuse me but what did you say?". The big black dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small white guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around. '"

LAUGHTER - THE STRESS BUSTER

Do you believe laughing can actually reduce stress and probability of heart disease? Well, it has been quite a time people have acquainted themselves with laughter therapy. In this therapy, people just laugh and laugh. They say, laughing circulates blood in brains more and also heart pumps more blood. All in all, it activates your body. Thats what they say.


I say, when you are damn tired and stressed, you should try laughing, crack some jokes with your friends and colleagues, laugh and then work. Doing this also makes the environment of the workplace cool, homely and easygoing. Thats what I do mostly. When I am tired and have lots of work pressure, I find sometime for myself to crack jokes and laugh. I even search for jokes and funny pictures in the net.

Laughing releases some pressure from me. After having a hearty laugh, I feel fresh. So there is energy to work more.

Pranks is counter part of cracking jokes. In pranks, there is always a victim but in jokes, there isn't any. The only thing is pure fun and laughter. I don't like playing pranks but like cracking jokes a lot. That is fun.

So fellas, try my therapy to release your stress. Enjoy life.

Remember - LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE.

Freedom to Do Anything

Few weeks ago, I found a picture in yahoo of a girl. The girl was actually a police offier in England (I forgot the name of the city) . Well, she was being a good cop but suddenly, her picture appeared all over the world in swimsuit.

The police department, seeing this, shifted her to less important department and then started a probe on that photograph. That is really really funny. I don't think it is a good idea, moreover considering a country like England.

I think a person is engaged to work during the office hours only. After his/her duty hours are off, he/she can do anything he/she wants. That certain act was violation of freedom and also human rights.

I think she should be left off with that. Being a cop doesn't mean that she can't do modelling. Besides, many people do two jobs - one a full time and other a part time. Why can't they take it like that?

I say, I appreciate the courage of that lady. Hats off to her. And my ass to the high officials who are not satisfied with that.

WHAT A DAY WAS IT YESTERDAY

So it was saturday yesterday. No office to go, no work to do at all. When saturdays come, I get anxious. I don't know what to do! The same thing happened yesterday. I was trying to make some plan on friday but nothing materialized. Finally, I asked my cousin to go to the movie late evening on friday. He agreed.

So early Saturday morning, we hit for the movie theatre. The movie we wanted to watch was "Mr. & Mrs. Smith." Sadly, it was housefull and we had to wait till the next show. We bought the ticket and then we came to my office(so sad). We later hit back to the theatre. On the way, it suddenly rained so heavily that we were soaked to bone in no time. As a shelter, we took a cab to the theatre. Two streets away, it wasn't raining at all! We then got off and then walked to the theatre. We got inside the theatre but the ticket conductors caused us some problems with the seating arrangements. Hell with them. We sat on the seats we wanted to seat. Everything came to place by the time the movie started.

The starting was nice, the conversation was very very funny. So was the whole movie.

We returned back home and had our lunch and snacks together. All in all, I had a great day yesterday. I did everything I enjoy. I read book, I watched a movie, watched tv, had great dinner (!). It was a complete relaxing day.

I am looking forward to it again for such days in my life.

The Atheist in Men/Women

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."

Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."