Bank Robbery

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

oneliners

Twitter has been great source for oneliners for me. I really love them. Here are some for you all to enjoy:

Man comes home from work & tells his wife: i fired the truck driver Bcuz he allmost ran me over WIFE: i think u should give him 1more Chance

Met my bank manager today. He asked me the quickest way to hospital, so I pushed him in the path of a passing ambulance.

My wife has just delivered twin boys and let me name them.From her reaction, I'm guessing Pete and Repeat wasn't the best choice.

I've noticed, if you're scared of spiders they always turn up in your bedroom. Using that logic.. I'm scared of blonde girls with big boobs

My wife said whatever i get her for her birthday, she will wear. so i'm buying her nothing, it's a win-win situation.