“Well! Its time to go now!”.
“Ride slow babu (that’s what I am called back at home)”, my mom says.
“Will sure do!” I say. Well, “slow” isn’t exactly I am going to ride. ;)
“Damn! I shouldn’t have drunk so much last night. This hangover will kill me. And surely there will be acidity in the evening”, I think as I mount my bike.
“Ride safe!”, says my brother in law.
“No need to worry, I will be fine. By the way, thanks for these gloves”, I reply back.
“So see you then!”, I say to all.
I kick start my bike, do a small ritual (I touch the handles of my bike and touch my forehead with the same hand, I dhog my bike actually), then a little warm up of the engine and now ready to roll! I hit the gear and then a little bit of accelerator, and now am rolling. I long solo journey to Kathmandu has just begun.
My head is still spinning. I keep thinking I shouldn’t have drunk that much the other night. Well, the get-together was good. I say to myself. I enjoyed it and everybody did. All the family from my paternal side had a bonfire yesterday. Most of us male cousins got drunk. I was on the brink, one more drink, I would fall off. Am glad I didn’t force myself for another round of vodka. I was thinking of smoking too, but didn’t get a chance. I was worried about my ride today.
So now, I reach the nearest petrol pump. Time to fill up my tank for the long road. “Hello!, Anybody there?” I shout. Nobody shows up. I guess it was call a wild howl unanswered. I enter the shop. “Hey! Nobody in the shop?” I ask the first person I see. “The shop isn’t open yet!” she replies.
“Hell! Bad luck! But who cares? There is always another petrol pump!” I say to myself. I ride down the city to the highway. My sister and my cousin are also coming to Kathmandu. I think I should stop and talk with them. Well, I just get pass through the bus station!
No! Am not getting off my bike. Once I’ve mounted it, I will get off only when I get to my destination (in this case, Kathmandu!). So, not to worry. I hit the road again. I cross a petrol pump. Hell, I still don’t want to get off but there is urge to fill up my tank in case I don’t starve up my bike in the middle of the road.
Now I come to nearly end of the city and there is one petrol pump left. I fill up the tank. “Now this seems ok.” I say to myself. “The bike is a little bit heavy. It will give an extra edge” I say to myself.
I hit the road again. “Kathmandu! Here I come!”
The highway is broad, almost empty and straight. Its early morning (7 am actually), cold winter morning actually, very few vehicle plying on the road. I take my chance. I speed up! There isn’t as many roads in Kathmandu like this. So why not take a chance! I speed up. I see speedometer increasing. 60kmph. Ok, that’s fine. I can do better than that. You just keep waiting. I say to myself.
Finally, I am out of Pokhara. I still have the option to drop this motorbike trip. I can enjoy easy ride on the microbus. But it isn’t that adventurous like this one! I keep going. “My skills as a rider will be tested after I cross Sainik Basti. There will be thick fog. It will be really difficult.” I say to myself. But what is this? I’m not even nearer to Danda ko Nakh, I see thick fog all around. Now I am really pissed off. I still have the option to return back. I have that in back of my mind.
Who cares? Lets ride through it for a while. If I think I cannot go, then I will return back. Oh shit! that cat just crossed the road! (Am I superstitious?) I stop abruptly. All the people look at me. Why? What the hell? I wait for someone to go ahead. A bus goes. Now is my turn.
Wow a police check post! Do I have to register myself there? I look around, no police there! What the hell? Hit the road again.
Now I’m enjoying my ride. I feel like the king of the road. “If only there wasn’t any fog, I would have done great” I say to myself. My vision is blurry. Time to wipe my specs! Ah! A bike in front of me. At least I will have company for some distance. I keep wiping my specs time and again. It really isn’t helping. The fog is too thick. My jeans is also all wet. I didn’t find a rain coat back home. I have to suffer the consequences now. I am now wondering about my old age. “I think I will have very bad knee pain when I grow old. Its all because of this foolish act. Well, actually will I see my old age? I think I will be in pretty bad shape when I reach my dad’s age” I keep my mind busy with such things. The fog is thick, I pass through many settlements. People around, I think they are used to this fog. I’m not used to it. I had seen such fogs in my college days. Good old KU days!
It cost my quite a lot yesterday fixing this bike. Now the fixation better be worth the money. Otherwise, next time I come to Pokhara, I will kick that mechanic’s ass. He said the bike wouldn’t skid sideways when I apply the brakes. Hey! What is this? I nearly slipped off? And thanks god! Saved by only an inch! Now that mechanic will get a piece of me when I get to Pokhara next time!
Sainik basti, Dulegaunda, Khaireni – I pass the human settlements. The road winding time and again in some mountains. I’m the only one on that road. I feel like a king. Wow! That feels nice!
One hour of ride and I finally arrive to Tanahun. The day before, there were things happening here. I read a poster. Tanahun festival! That sounded great. Well, I’ve no time for such stuffs! Bye bye Tanahun. See you next time!
Man, the fog is still there. Cold and chilling. I take off my specs. I don’t see clearly but its better than with specs. “I should stop by for a cup of tea near Ghasi Kuwa.” I say to myself. A dog I am. Why stop there? Keep on going buddy!
Oh shit! This side mirror is loose again. I try to fix it. No luck. I will have it fixed when I reach Dumre. Till then, hang you little buddy. Last time I came down this road on this bike, I really enjoyed it. It was sunny then. Now it is just the opposite. Me and my dumb ass attitude to prove nothing! I curse myself. Now I got to pay for it. Oops! My mobile buzzed. She must have sent me a message. I told her I would be riding back to Kathmandu.
“Hey brother! Can you fix this for me?”
“The mistery is out now. Has gone to Narayangarh. Will be back at 10.” “Will be back at 10? What do you think? You mean I should wait for him till 10? Dream on! There is always another guy” I say to myself and ride again. “Hey buddy, can you fix this?” I ask a shopkeeper few steps away. “The mistery is there. He is coming.” He says. Fine with me.
“This thing is slipping. Will have to screw it from the other side”. He says. “OK do it then”, I say. “Is it always like this? This thick cold fog?” I try to break a conversation. “Yes. All winter”, he replies back. Well, that’s some piece of information. I won’t dare a motorbike ride in winter now. I have learnt my lesson.
“How much?” I ask. “5 rupees”, he says. I pay him. Well, I really could do a cup of tea for myself. But what the hell. The road is calling me. I roll again.
20 minutes and Aanbu Khaireni. Nice view of the place. Cloudy but coming to her senses for the day. Another 20 minutes and Muglin. The hub! Now Trishuli is with me. There was Marshyangdi before. I’m closer to Kathmandu now. Its just a matter of 2 hours.
Now my back is starting to pain. Damn! I bend sideways, my usual trick to fix my back pain. “Crack crack crack!” Ahh that feels good. Am a bit relieved now.
So yo hello Kurintar! People going to Manakamana on cable car! Hi and Bye Goddess Manakamana. See you around! I ride.
Agrrhh! The mobile again! “Hello! Yes, I’m near Kurintar. Am coming. Will be there in 2 hours. Don’t worry. I will do those when I get there! See you then.”
“Bullshit! I hate it. Am on the road and work keeps following me.” Man I hate it when I get a call when I am riding. I hit the road again. Thanks to god fog has lifted in this side. It’s a bit sunny around here. Hey my speedometer! It is in eighties range. My good old bike. This really rolls fast. Am proud of it. First my dad’s, then my brother’s, and now mine. After all the money I spent on fixing it. Forty five hundred six months ago and twenty two hundred yesterday. You cost me quite a small fortune. Now you got to pay back for that.
Ah! The back pain again. I slip back a little. I am pretending I am riding Pulsar. Running on eighty five. This IS nice, in fact GREAT! 2 more hours and I am back in Kathmandu.
Vroooooooooooommmmmmmmmmm! Zzzzzzzooooooommmmmm! I pass the cars, the bus, the houses and the trees. Ah! That Terios. Man, that car must be running at ninety. I am on seventy. Faster than me! I got to do better! Lets race brother!
Ah! Malekhu. A bit sunny also. The sun will do good. Will warm by bones a bit. Ah that’s the shop I had 3 plates of fish the day before. I enjoyed a lot. It was really tasty. I should stop there for a while. Who cares? I roll on. “I’ll come down here with my friends to eat the fish again. Never mind” I say to myself.
Ah! I’m damn hungry! And the acidity. I should have eaten something back home. Now I am really pissed off. Have patience, brother! Keep on riding!
Buzz! Agrhh. The damn mobile again. “Hello! Yes, what? Why? Will talk to you when I get there.” “Teent”. I hang up. “Damn mobile!” I again join the highway. Smooth riding ahead. No fog, warm sun rising up and an empty road. What else do I need? Today is my good day.
So next place to come is Naubise. And the steep climb! I wonder if I can do that. That will be my ultimate test.
Buzzz! The damn mobile again! “Hello! This and that, this and that. Oh. Do this and that and that will do. If any problem, do call me again. Teent.” If the damn thing buzzes again, I will switch it off. Now my temper is rising. Can’t people see that I am enjoying my ride? Do they have to spoil my fun? I make a straight face. I pose if I am riding Pulsar.
Vrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooommmmmmmmmm! Now Naubise. And see! That’s the defamed steep climb. Now my challenge begins. This thing is not going to intimidate me. I have come a long way.
Vvvvvvvvoooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Ghahn! Ghahn! Trucks in front of me making noise. Damn! Why should those things carry such a load.
And now my turn. Ghahhhhhhhnnnnnnnn. Slowly, kilometer by kilometer, I am through the climb! Hurrah! I did it.
Naagdunga at last! Now I am in Kathmandu. Oh! This back pain. My hand is also aching. I should rest a while. Well who rests when one is so close to destination. I’m not the rabbit in the story. I will take it slow from here.
Huh! 60kmph? Well, I’m a dog. Why go slow? I speed up. That’s what the bike was made for, isn’t it? And so am I.
Buzz! Ah the mobile again.
“Yes!”
“This and that and am confused.”
“Oh. Do this and that is this.”
“Huh!”
“Still confused? Don’t worry? I will be there in an hour. See you then”.
“Teenth”
Now back in the city.
After a long smooth ride on a highway and this heavy Kathmandu traffic. I had almost forgot about it. Tet Teenth! Gharrr Gharrr! Hoink Hoink!
Ah. All the hustle and bustle of a metropolitan. She has just awaken. I shake off my highway thoughts. Come to reality buddy. The most difficult part is ahead. Riding in Kathmandu!
After five hours of continuous riding, with sooted face, tired limbs, hungry stomach and aching back, I enter Kathmandu, I come down to reality from my dream world, I come to my senses. I enjoy the warmth of sun.
All is normal again. Hoink hoink. Screech. Poink poink. I have a busy noisy day ahead.
Welcome to Kathmandu.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Karma
In Bhagvat Geeta, Lord Krishna told Arjun to do his karma.
Karma – an act one should do to make his life run, an act that one is destined to do
That’s what the dictionary might say about this word “Karma”.
Well I put it differently. Ones Karma is what other people want from him, not his own desires and wishes. That’s what it is. And am damn sure about it. I can give you a hundred reasons for this.
I read one story by D.H. Lawrence when I was in college. I think it’s his real life account. In that story, he kills an elephant. I didn’t kill the elephant because he wanted to, but because there were thousand of eager faces imposing a silent pressure on that white faced guy. The writer didn’t want to kill that thing but had to because of the immense pressure he was getting. So that’s his Karma. It was not what he wanted to do, but he had to do to satisfy somebody else.
So what is my Karma?
I run a business, I do computer programming. Are they my Karma? According to
Things have changed now. I have changed now. I don’t do things because I want them to do, but because people want me to do things for them. They want me to earn for them, cook food to feed them instead for myself. So they determine my karma.
A guy comes, says he wants a certain kind of software. I make it as he wishes. He runs it. I deserve some thing back from him. He doesn’t give anything to me.
I help someone establish his feet on this hurly burly city. I give him ideas to work. Later he points a finger on me.
So what should I do? Should I just keep doing things for them? Should I always be a stepping stone?
Definitely I am not a stone at all. I am a living human being with all the emotions a person ought to have. I have got feelings of pain, I feel hurt, I feel sorrow, I feel joy.
To tell you the truth, I deserve more of this world than those people. Because I do things, I am entitled to every inch of this world.
Now on I am going to define my karma myself. I will not work of those people at all. They will not receive any favours from me. They will have to pay for every second I spend on them. I won’t waste my words on anyone.
I no longer carry anyone on my back. I will define myself. The hell with others.
That will be my Karma. I am Neo-Arjun. I do things for myself. I won’t bent to any kind of pressure from others. Good or bad, I will stick to my decision all the time.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Simple funny jokes
1)Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ??
Because, Tendulkar is an opener.
2)Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Socho socho
aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
3)What will! u call a person who is leaving India??
Socho...............Socho
Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
4)Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam Kya tha................................... .
Socho yar ....its very easy
Answer: adidas
5)Luv and Kush were going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv fells into the well. Why ?
Because Luv is blind!!!!!
6)Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
OK lot's of head scratching done.
Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
7) Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..
nahi pata..??
Answer: D'Cold
"chain ki saans - D'cold"
8)Ek aur.....
Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol
chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon??
arey yeh to batao .
think harder...
Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha,
ha..kitna asan tha ....kya yaar...tum bi na
9)Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe ..... kamal,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the..
bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata
hai why???
Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!
aur chhaiye kya?
why ?? why ??
Because, Tendulkar is an opener.
2)Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Socho socho
aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
3)What will! u call a person who is leaving India??
Socho...............Socho
Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
4)Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam Kya tha................................... .
Socho yar ....its very easy
Answer: adidas
5)Luv and Kush were going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv fells into the well. Why ?
Because Luv is blind!!!!!
6)Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
OK lot's of head scratching done.
Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
7) Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..
nahi pata..??
Answer: D'Cold
"chain ki saans - D'cold"
8)Ek aur.....
Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol
chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon??
arey yeh to batao .
think harder...
Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha,
ha..kitna asan tha ....kya yaar...tum bi na
9)Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe ..... kamal,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the..
bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata
hai why???
Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!
aur chhaiye kya?
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Mahabharat should be re-written
In some remote village of India, one masterji is
teaching the
Mahabharat katha to class 6 students.
He is at the krishnajanma' part of it. Masterji:
"Kansa heard the
akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill
him.
He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki
behind the bars.
First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning...
Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain
peak. Third one is born."
Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts
up his hand.
Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)
Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt
in Mahabharata then how come u have one?"
Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's child
was going to kill him,
WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME
CELL ??
Masterji fainted............
teaching the
Mahabharat katha to class 6 students.
He is at the krishnajanma' part of it. Masterji:
"Kansa heard the
akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill
him.
He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki
behind the bars.
First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning...
Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain
peak. Third one is born."
Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts
up his hand.
Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)
Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt
in Mahabharata then how come u have one?"
Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's child
was going to kill him,
WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME
CELL ??
Masterji fainted............
Friday, December 08, 2006
Marital Woes
•Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi.
Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• On Jeeto's bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.
When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.
TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi.
Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• On Jeeto's bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.
When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.
TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Marketing Skills
A Professor at one of the IIM's (INDIAN INSTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT) was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - *That's Direct Marketing.*
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - *That's Advertising.*
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - *That's Telemarketing.*
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - *That's Public Relations.*
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - *That's Brand Recognition.*
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I am very rich. Marry me! "She gives you a nice hard slap on your face."- *That's Customer Feedback*
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.- *That's demand and supply gap*
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him. -* That's competition eating into your market share*
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - *That's restriction for entering new markets*
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - *That's Direct Marketing.*
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - *That's Advertising.*
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - *That's Telemarketing.*
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - *That's Public Relations.*
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - *That's Brand Recognition.*
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I am very rich. Marry me! "She gives you a nice hard slap on your face."- *That's Customer Feedback*
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.- *That's demand and supply gap*
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him. -* That's competition eating into your market share*
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - *That's restriction for entering new markets*
Monday, November 27, 2006
French MPs dump Windows for Linux
I came across this news article while surfing. Its quite interesting. For those everybody who are FOSS will surely laud this. The link is: http://www.silicon.com/publicsector/0,3800010403,39164312,00.htm
An excerpt from the article:
An excerpt from the article:
After the gendarmes and the Ministry of Culture, it's the French MPs' turn to switch to open source. From June 2007, PCs in French députés' offices will be equipped with a Linux operating system and open source productivity software.
The project, backed by MPs Richard Cazenav and Bernard Carayon of the UMP party, will see 1,154 French parliamentary workstations running on an open source OS, with OpenOffice.org, Firefox and an open source email client.
A spokesperson for the parliament's administration said a decision as to the choice of OS and email client hasn't yet been taken. Currently, some of the parliament's servers have been running Linux, with Apache web servers and the Mambo content management system.
The project was the subject of a study by Atos Origin, whose conclusions convinced the French parliament, the Assemblée Nationale. "The study showed that open source software will from now on offer functionality adapted to the needs of MPs, and will allow us to make substantial savings despite the associated migration and training costs," the parliament said.
Open source supporters have welcomed the decision. Benoît Sibaud, president of the Association for the research into and promotion of open source computing, said the decision to migrate to open source will allow the Assemblée Nationale to have greater control over its IT, without depending on any one vendor, and to realise a better use of public money.
This will be the first case of a French public institution switching its PCs onto a Linux operating system. Previous open source initiatives concerned servers, as was the case with the Minstry of Agriculture, or OpenOffice and Firefox, which were brought into use by France's gendarmerie.
Christophe Guillemin writes for ZDNet France
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Sardarji Revisited
1) Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt u Xchnge?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchnge n the lower Berth..
2) Sardar tells his girlfriend "Come 2 my house at night, nobody Will be
there.............
Girl goes at night & really nobody was there
3) A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had
gone to DELHI for Filling up. U know y?
FORM said "FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".
4) A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was? . . . . .
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.
5) A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women
gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
6) Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar - If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
7) Sardar had twins : he named them Tin & Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!
8) 19 SARDARS WENT to a FILM. ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...
9) A sardarji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral
function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
10) Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt u Xchnge?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchnge n the lower Berth..
2) Sardar tells his girlfriend "Come 2 my house at night, nobody Will be
there.............
Girl goes at night & really nobody was there
3) A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had
gone to DELHI for Filling up. U know y?
FORM said "FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".
4) A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was? . . . . .
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.
5) A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women
gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
6) Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar - If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
7) Sardar had twins : he named them Tin & Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!
8) 19 SARDARS WENT to a FILM. ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...
9) A sardarji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral
function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
10) Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
Friday, November 17, 2006
Astrological Signs Like You have Never Seen them
1. Taurus (April 21-May 21)
These people are earthy, natural, and have a direct approach
to the opposite sex which can only be called tactless. The
typical Taurus pickup line is "wanna fuck?" The typical Taurus
comeback to that line is "no, thanks, I already have one asshole
in my pants."
But once a Taurus has his mind made up, there's no stopping him.
He'll rent a $200-a-night hotel room, and a $500-a-night whore,
and pretend he is having fun. At least half of Mastercard's
business is done with Tauruses.
A Taurus doesn't do anything unless there's something to show
for it. Walk into even the most modest Taurus's home, and you'll
see at least a whole wall of trophies. Never mind that they are
for "Most Improved Bowler" or "Third Place, Rhubarb Pies" or
"Fastest Sheep Catcher in Texas." It's the trophy that counts.
Tauruses tend toward all kinds of excesses. Food, booze, sex.
In all cases, the Taurus person will bite off more than he can
chew. Impotence is a regular feature of a Taurus's alleged
love life.
Famous Taurus people include Barbara Streisand, Margot Fonteyn,
Sandra Dee, Ella Fitzgerald, Irving Berlin, Johannes Brahms,
Sigmund Freud, Sandy Dennis.
2. Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Gemini are shizophrenic, unpredictable, incongruous and an
enigma. Though they will usually tell you one thing, and then
go do something absolutely different, they are not being
two-faced. When Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they
know not what they do," he was probably looking at a gaggle
of Gemini.
This means, of course, that most Gemini are gay. Gemini homes
always have closets, but it is often difficult to tell if they
are coming in, or coming out of them. Or both. Two Gemini men
are walking down the street. The foxiest lady on earth walks by,
and one of them sighs. The other turns to him and says "Brucie!
ShAme on you! What was that all about?!!" And Brucie answers,
"Oh, Ferdinand, she was so fabulous! And for the first time in my
life I wished I was a lesbian!"
Gemini also love to "chase someone till they're caught."
Women, especially, love to pricktease, and then when the guy falls
all over them drooling, she'll *forget* she was ever remotely
interested. Bitch.
However, Geminis tend to be very naive and gullible, so they are
easily taken advantage of, especially by children. Most Gemini
parents think that the new kid's fad is to sniff powder sugar.
Geminis' children buy lots of insulin syringes for diabetic aunts,
even when neither of their parents have sisters.
Famous people born under this sign include Marilyn Monroe, Joan
Collins, Bob Hope, Tony Curtis, John Wayne, Pat Boone, Lord Larry
Olivier, Queen Victoria, Brigham Young.
3. Cancer (June 22-July 23)
This sign produces the greatest mothers of all the zodiac.
Cancers live for their homes and families. While the spouse
is in a motel room with the secretary, the Cancer is sitting at
home, telling the kids how wonderful it is that dad stays late
at the office to earn more bread for the family home.
Cancers get married. And fucked. And married. And fucked. And married.
But who's counting?
Cancers are pretty dull lovers. Foreplay to a Cancer man involves
a kiss on the cheek. Ask a Cancer woman what for play is, and she'll
say "something they shout on a golf course before they throw out
the first ball." The phrase "wham, bam, thank you, mam" was invented
to describe a Cancer's honeymoon.
While they are pretty damned dull to others, Cancers have a good
time, because they live in a dream world. Walter Mitty was probably
a Cancer.
Other famous people born under this sign are Ernest Hemingway,
Mary Baker Eddy, John Quincy Adams, Ginger Rogers, Olivia De Havilland,
Natalie Wood, Yul Brynner and Red Skelton.
4. Leo (July 24-August 23)
With great personal charm and animal magnetism, Leos don't have
to be good-looking to get some nookie. Leos are also romantic,
which helps a lot in the free fuck department.
However, all this charm is superficial, and though Leos make
great one-night stands, they usually flop as spouses.
An example might be of the Leo couple who wind up in a
candle-lit honeymoon suite, and she enters the bedroom in a
classy lace nightie, and he slowly removes it, and kisses
her all over. But when they get into bed, all they can do
is talk about how wonderful and romantic they make each other
feel. She's frigid and he can't get it up.
But on the brighter side, a Leo is a wonderful confidant,
someone you can tell anything to. A good shoulder to cry on.
On the other hand, a Leo tends to let conceit and vanity get
in the way. They make great sales-people -- they can sell
fishnet stockings to a quadraplegiac.
Leos, however, are themselves very trusting and generous.
The phrases "The check is in the mail", "I love you", and
"I won't cum in your mouth" are all on the Top 10 Phrases
to save for Leos.
Famous Leos include Peter O'Toole, Lucille Ball, Herman
Melville, George Bernard Shaw, Cecil B DeMille and Claude
Debussy.
5. Virgo (August 24-September 23)
A true horror in the sexual zodiac, Virgos are the only people
who can become prostitutes and still claim to be virgins. A
Virgo tends toward a practical and realistic attitude towards
sex, so this little pun is not at all far-fetched.
A Virgo will, for instance, ask $50 for a blowjob, $75 if you
cum in his/her mouth, or $20 a minute, whichever "comes" first.
People born under this sign can be witty, articulate, charming,
and 'lives of the party', but they usually fuck it up by hiding
their emotions.
Virgos are the kind of people who put sanitized toilet seat
covers down on a clean motel john. They are the kind of people
who insist on using the unopened tube of K-Y. If the condom
isn't vacuum-sealed, they won't go near it. And complete showers,
if not disinfected baths, are required both before and after.
And if you even touch a Virgos asshole, kiss your tryst goodbye.
Famous people born under this sign include Leo Tolstoy, Walter
Reed, H.G.Wells, Upron Sinclair, Cliff Robertson, Sean Connery,
Kitty Carlisle, Lauren Becall, Greta Garbo, Raquel Welch.
6. Libra (September 24-October 23)
Libras are anal retentives whose sole purpose in life is to be
right all the time. They respond to admiration, praise and flattery,
but only for a couple of seconds at a time.
Libras love living in style, especially if they cannot afford it.
Show me a bitch who won't fuck until she's had jewelry, candlelight
dinners in expensive restaurants & satin sheets, and I'll show you
a loose Libra. To them, sex is something animals do. Of course that
may be why they lead their spouses around on a leash.
Hobbies Libras love include interior decoration (when someone else
is paying for it), fashion, needlework (including voodoo), listening
to art shows, and watching concerts. Opera fans are almost always
Libras.
These people will do almost anything for peace and harmony. The way
to drive a Libra ape-shit is to say "fuck me or I'll play loud punk
rock music." Along those lines, Libras make the best hostages.
Unfortunately, many of them also become cops. Nightsticks make a
well-behaved lover.
Famous Libras include Friedrich Nietzsche, Eugene O'Neill, Brigitte
Bardot (No? Really?), Julie Andrews, Angie Dickinson, Angela Lansbury,
Charleston Heston, and Helen Hayes.
7. Scorpio (October 24-November 22)
Scorpios are the most highly sexed of all the signs of the zodiac.
Dynamic, passionate & aggressive, a Scorpios first date with someone
normally ends in rape. The back seat is where he/she makes his/her
moves. The trunk is where he/she keeps your EX...and his/her "toys".
Because of their obnoxious behavior, Scorpios are often challenged to
duels. Their choice of weapons is usually a tactical nuclear device at
30 paces.
Scorpios are prone to excesses: booze, drugs, sex, bad puns, etc.
They usually exploit the weaknesses of others, who fall victim to
their capacity for total lust & sexual abberation. In youth, Scorpios
hide in locker rooms of the opposite sex, waiting for just one person
to remain. In adulthood, they hide in dark alleys. And in old age,
they hang around playgrounds with bags of candy.
Charles Manson is a Scorpio.
Other famous Scorpios include Richard Burton, Dick Cavett, Will Rogers,
Son of Sam, the Hillside Strangler, the Boston Strangler, the Heimlich
Manuever Strangler, Teddy Roosevelt, Billy Graham, Katherine Hepburn,
& about 1/12th of the rest of the human race.
Scorpios posess great intellectual curiosity & creative talent. They
think they are rebels & are arrogant, proud, conceited, and worth every
penny of it. Despite all these shortcomings, they make loyal & devoted
marriage partners, at least for the first 5 minutes. After that, it just
depends on what catches their eye. Scorpios always want what they can't
have, and generally manage to get it...sometimes legally.
Scorpios are held in awe by their enemies & are admired passionately by
their friends...both of them. And Scorpios return that loyalty...until
someone says "Good Morning" to them in a funny tone of voice. Scorpios
fear nothing. Most Scorpios are murdered in their beds.
8. Sagittarius (November 23-December 21)
Their positive, optimistic enthusiasm for life makes these people
fucking disgusting. They are a delight to be with, the life of the
party, and are never a burdon to their friends, letting the woes
of life roll off of them. Pretty nauseating.
A good sense of humor, warmth, romance and being a good fuck are
also attributes of the Sag. So with all this going for them, what
ever could they do wrong? Well, sad but true, the Sagittarius
person is a great one-night stand, but a lousy spouse. They get
married, and married, and married, and never get carried away.
They dislike being tied down, and hate to even talk about it.
A single Sagittarius is charming, but a married one is an
obnoxious flirt who would sell his/her spouse for a roll in the
hay with a new young stag/broad. And it often works out that way.
Sags also have a great temper. A Sagittarius couple is about as
amusing a thought as marrying a Jewish American Princess to the
leader of the PLO.
Famous Sagittarians include John Milton, Heinrich Heine, Martin
Van Buren, Fiorello La Guardia, Jane Fonda, Kirk Douglas,
Frank Sinatra, Joe Dimaggio, Noel Coward, Louisa May Alcott,
Lee Remick, Mary Martin and Andy Williams.
9. Capricorn (December 22-January 20)
Class. That's what Capricorns have. Not much sensuality,
hardly ever fun to be with, but lots of class. They tend
to look taller than they really are, and, speaking of which,
Capricorn men always seem to have 10 inches, even if they
really only have 3.
Of course, most of it is facade, and deep down inside they
are really conservative, tight-assed cowards...with class.
These are the true snots of the world. But they make good
supportive wives....especially the men.
Often self-conscious, and overly concerned with what other
people think of them, Capricorns can be a real pain. They are
much more interested in appearances than any other sign. But
if you cross them, they don't get angry, they don't get even.
They just turn their internal thermostat down about 100 degrees
when they see you. Women who marry a Capricorn, and flirt, end
up with a pussy full of cocksicle.
Most horoscopes claim that Capricorns can be the most passionate
lovers in the Zodiac when they lose their inhibitions, but since
they rarely touch drugs, this almost never happens.
Famous Capricorns are Louis Pasteur, Ben Franklin, Beethoven,
Isaac Newton, Henry Miller, Rudyard K.ipling, Marlene Dietrich,
Loretta Young, Mary Tyler Moore, Danny Kaye, Cary Grant, Janis
Joplin and Elvis Presley.
10. Aquarius (January 21-February 19)
Charming, exciting, completely unpredictable and among the most
original, inventive and complex people in the zodiac, Aquarians
fuck like rabbits. The Kama Sutra was probably first used as an
elementary school coloring book for Aquarius kids.
Though they are intuitive dreamers, they also have a sharp
analytical perception. Thus, they can dream of a new sexual
position and immediately know if it is a physical possibility.
Advances in civilization, science, and new inventions are
a special interest to this sign. Most sex aids were invented
by Aquarians.
Generous to a fault, it was an Aquarius who invented the
"pity fuck." Someone having a rough time? Well, fuck 'em!
Literally! It'll cheer him up, at least. Of course, when an
Aquarius screws you, you may walk bowlegged for months.
It depends on how many positions, "toys" and hours the session
lasts.
On the dark side, an Aquarius is a free spirit who doesn't
give a shit for other people's opinions. At times they are careless,
slovenly and absent-minded. Even odoriferous. People of this sign
are the most likely to have fleas, lice, herpes and VD. And pass
them on.
Famous Aqaurians include: Vanessa Redgrave, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and
her sister Eva, Kim Novak, Paul Newman, Clark Gable, John
Barrymore, Cahrles Dickens, Thomas Edison, Lewis Carroll
and Robert Burns.
11. Pisces (February 20-March 20)
These wishy-washy nerds are the most sexually inept of all the
signs. Pisces can't get it up, and Pisces women have pussies
that are as wet and wide as the Mississippi. They often marry
each other, which shows what nerds they really are. And of
course they deserve each other. And it keeps the world fun for
the rest of us.
The constellation under which they are born is sometimes called
the "armpit of the zodiac", and it seems to rub off. There isn't
enough Old Spice in the universe to solve this problem.
There isn't really much more to say about Pisces people. Except
that creativity is often achieved through deprivation, and as a
result, some of the most expressive artists were born Pisceans.
Some famous people born under this sign include Henrik Ibsen,
Andrew Jackson, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Anais Nin, Elizabeth
Taylor, Ursula Andress, Renoir, Chopin, Handel, Rudolf Nureyev,
Jerry Lewis, David Niven, Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash (They
DO deserve each other!), Luther Burbank, Henry W. Longfellow,
Jackie Gleason, Lawrence Welk, Dinah Shore, Enrico Caruso.
12. Aries (March 21-April 20)
Aries people are dynamic, quick, original, energetic, innovative
leaders who are downright disgusting to be around. These are the
first people bought joggers, and actually jogged in them. They are
the people who read the text in sex manuals. And try to follow it
by the numbers.
Aries are honest and direct, and quick to find a motel room when
the boss's wife is horny. This is the guy who gets the woman into
the bedroom with a promise of 10 inches and 3 times, and turns out
to have 3 inches, but does it 10 times.
The Aries affair usually gets pretty kinky, because with that
limber body and great stamina, they get bored with "the same old
thing" every night. From woman-on-top to shetland-pony-on-top is
not a long leap for an Aries.
Famous people in the Aries birthright include: Bette Davis, Joan
Crawford, Johan Sebastian Bach, Doris Day, Marlon Brando, Omar
Sharif, Peter Ustinov, Harry Houdini and Debbie Reynolds.
These people are earthy, natural, and have a direct approach
to the opposite sex which can only be called tactless. The
typical Taurus pickup line is "wanna fuck?" The typical Taurus
comeback to that line is "no, thanks, I already have one asshole
in my pants."
But once a Taurus has his mind made up, there's no stopping him.
He'll rent a $200-a-night hotel room, and a $500-a-night whore,
and pretend he is having fun. At least half of Mastercard's
business is done with Tauruses.
A Taurus doesn't do anything unless there's something to show
for it. Walk into even the most modest Taurus's home, and you'll
see at least a whole wall of trophies. Never mind that they are
for "Most Improved Bowler" or "Third Place, Rhubarb Pies" or
"Fastest Sheep Catcher in Texas." It's the trophy that counts.
Tauruses tend toward all kinds of excesses. Food, booze, sex.
In all cases, the Taurus person will bite off more than he can
chew. Impotence is a regular feature of a Taurus's alleged
love life.
Famous Taurus people include Barbara Streisand, Margot Fonteyn,
Sandra Dee, Ella Fitzgerald, Irving Berlin, Johannes Brahms,
Sigmund Freud, Sandy Dennis.
2. Gemini (May 22-June 21)
Gemini are shizophrenic, unpredictable, incongruous and an
enigma. Though they will usually tell you one thing, and then
go do something absolutely different, they are not being
two-faced. When Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they
know not what they do," he was probably looking at a gaggle
of Gemini.
This means, of course, that most Gemini are gay. Gemini homes
always have closets, but it is often difficult to tell if they
are coming in, or coming out of them. Or both. Two Gemini men
are walking down the street. The foxiest lady on earth walks by,
and one of them sighs. The other turns to him and says "Brucie!
ShAme on you! What was that all about?!!" And Brucie answers,
"Oh, Ferdinand, she was so fabulous! And for the first time in my
life I wished I was a lesbian!"
Gemini also love to "chase someone till they're caught."
Women, especially, love to pricktease, and then when the guy falls
all over them drooling, she'll *forget* she was ever remotely
interested. Bitch.
However, Geminis tend to be very naive and gullible, so they are
easily taken advantage of, especially by children. Most Gemini
parents think that the new kid's fad is to sniff powder sugar.
Geminis' children buy lots of insulin syringes for diabetic aunts,
even when neither of their parents have sisters.
Famous people born under this sign include Marilyn Monroe, Joan
Collins, Bob Hope, Tony Curtis, John Wayne, Pat Boone, Lord Larry
Olivier, Queen Victoria, Brigham Young.
3. Cancer (June 22-July 23)
This sign produces the greatest mothers of all the zodiac.
Cancers live for their homes and families. While the spouse
is in a motel room with the secretary, the Cancer is sitting at
home, telling the kids how wonderful it is that dad stays late
at the office to earn more bread for the family home.
Cancers get married. And fucked. And married. And fucked. And married.
But who's counting?
Cancers are pretty dull lovers. Foreplay to a Cancer man involves
a kiss on the cheek. Ask a Cancer woman what for play is, and she'll
say "something they shout on a golf course before they throw out
the first ball." The phrase "wham, bam, thank you, mam" was invented
to describe a Cancer's honeymoon.
While they are pretty damned dull to others, Cancers have a good
time, because they live in a dream world. Walter Mitty was probably
a Cancer.
Other famous people born under this sign are Ernest Hemingway,
Mary Baker Eddy, John Quincy Adams, Ginger Rogers, Olivia De Havilland,
Natalie Wood, Yul Brynner and Red Skelton.
4. Leo (July 24-August 23)
With great personal charm and animal magnetism, Leos don't have
to be good-looking to get some nookie. Leos are also romantic,
which helps a lot in the free fuck department.
However, all this charm is superficial, and though Leos make
great one-night stands, they usually flop as spouses.
An example might be of the Leo couple who wind up in a
candle-lit honeymoon suite, and she enters the bedroom in a
classy lace nightie, and he slowly removes it, and kisses
her all over. But when they get into bed, all they can do
is talk about how wonderful and romantic they make each other
feel. She's frigid and he can't get it up.
But on the brighter side, a Leo is a wonderful confidant,
someone you can tell anything to. A good shoulder to cry on.
On the other hand, a Leo tends to let conceit and vanity get
in the way. They make great sales-people -- they can sell
fishnet stockings to a quadraplegiac.
Leos, however, are themselves very trusting and generous.
The phrases "The check is in the mail", "I love you", and
"I won't cum in your mouth" are all on the Top 10 Phrases
to save for Leos.
Famous Leos include Peter O'Toole, Lucille Ball, Herman
Melville, George Bernard Shaw, Cecil B DeMille and Claude
Debussy.
5. Virgo (August 24-September 23)
A true horror in the sexual zodiac, Virgos are the only people
who can become prostitutes and still claim to be virgins. A
Virgo tends toward a practical and realistic attitude towards
sex, so this little pun is not at all far-fetched.
A Virgo will, for instance, ask $50 for a blowjob, $75 if you
cum in his/her mouth, or $20 a minute, whichever "comes" first.
People born under this sign can be witty, articulate, charming,
and 'lives of the party', but they usually fuck it up by hiding
their emotions.
Virgos are the kind of people who put sanitized toilet seat
covers down on a clean motel john. They are the kind of people
who insist on using the unopened tube of K-Y. If the condom
isn't vacuum-sealed, they won't go near it. And complete showers,
if not disinfected baths, are required both before and after.
And if you even touch a Virgos asshole, kiss your tryst goodbye.
Famous people born under this sign include Leo Tolstoy, Walter
Reed, H.G.Wells, Upron Sinclair, Cliff Robertson, Sean Connery,
Kitty Carlisle, Lauren Becall, Greta Garbo, Raquel Welch.
6. Libra (September 24-October 23)
Libras are anal retentives whose sole purpose in life is to be
right all the time. They respond to admiration, praise and flattery,
but only for a couple of seconds at a time.
Libras love living in style, especially if they cannot afford it.
Show me a bitch who won't fuck until she's had jewelry, candlelight
dinners in expensive restaurants & satin sheets, and I'll show you
a loose Libra. To them, sex is something animals do. Of course that
may be why they lead their spouses around on a leash.
Hobbies Libras love include interior decoration (when someone else
is paying for it), fashion, needlework (including voodoo), listening
to art shows, and watching concerts. Opera fans are almost always
Libras.
These people will do almost anything for peace and harmony. The way
to drive a Libra ape-shit is to say "fuck me or I'll play loud punk
rock music." Along those lines, Libras make the best hostages.
Unfortunately, many of them also become cops. Nightsticks make a
well-behaved lover.
Famous Libras include Friedrich Nietzsche, Eugene O'Neill, Brigitte
Bardot (No? Really?), Julie Andrews, Angie Dickinson, Angela Lansbury,
Charleston Heston, and Helen Hayes.
7. Scorpio (October 24-November 22)
Scorpios are the most highly sexed of all the signs of the zodiac.
Dynamic, passionate & aggressive, a Scorpios first date with someone
normally ends in rape. The back seat is where he/she makes his/her
moves. The trunk is where he/she keeps your EX...and his/her "toys".
Because of their obnoxious behavior, Scorpios are often challenged to
duels. Their choice of weapons is usually a tactical nuclear device at
30 paces.
Scorpios are prone to excesses: booze, drugs, sex, bad puns, etc.
They usually exploit the weaknesses of others, who fall victim to
their capacity for total lust & sexual abberation. In youth, Scorpios
hide in locker rooms of the opposite sex, waiting for just one person
to remain. In adulthood, they hide in dark alleys. And in old age,
they hang around playgrounds with bags of candy.
Charles Manson is a Scorpio.
Other famous Scorpios include Richard Burton, Dick Cavett, Will Rogers,
Son of Sam, the Hillside Strangler, the Boston Strangler, the Heimlich
Manuever Strangler, Teddy Roosevelt, Billy Graham, Katherine Hepburn,
& about 1/12th of the rest of the human race.
Scorpios posess great intellectual curiosity & creative talent. They
think they are rebels & are arrogant, proud, conceited, and worth every
penny of it. Despite all these shortcomings, they make loyal & devoted
marriage partners, at least for the first 5 minutes. After that, it just
depends on what catches their eye. Scorpios always want what they can't
have, and generally manage to get it...sometimes legally.
Scorpios are held in awe by their enemies & are admired passionately by
their friends...both of them. And Scorpios return that loyalty...until
someone says "Good Morning" to them in a funny tone of voice. Scorpios
fear nothing. Most Scorpios are murdered in their beds.
8. Sagittarius (November 23-December 21)
Their positive, optimistic enthusiasm for life makes these people
fucking disgusting. They are a delight to be with, the life of the
party, and are never a burdon to their friends, letting the woes
of life roll off of them. Pretty nauseating.
A good sense of humor, warmth, romance and being a good fuck are
also attributes of the Sag. So with all this going for them, what
ever could they do wrong? Well, sad but true, the Sagittarius
person is a great one-night stand, but a lousy spouse. They get
married, and married, and married, and never get carried away.
They dislike being tied down, and hate to even talk about it.
A single Sagittarius is charming, but a married one is an
obnoxious flirt who would sell his/her spouse for a roll in the
hay with a new young stag/broad. And it often works out that way.
Sags also have a great temper. A Sagittarius couple is about as
amusing a thought as marrying a Jewish American Princess to the
leader of the PLO.
Famous Sagittarians include John Milton, Heinrich Heine, Martin
Van Buren, Fiorello La Guardia, Jane Fonda, Kirk Douglas,
Frank Sinatra, Joe Dimaggio, Noel Coward, Louisa May Alcott,
Lee Remick, Mary Martin and Andy Williams.
9. Capricorn (December 22-January 20)
Class. That's what Capricorns have. Not much sensuality,
hardly ever fun to be with, but lots of class. They tend
to look taller than they really are, and, speaking of which,
Capricorn men always seem to have 10 inches, even if they
really only have 3.
Of course, most of it is facade, and deep down inside they
are really conservative, tight-assed cowards...with class.
These are the true snots of the world. But they make good
supportive wives....especially the men.
Often self-conscious, and overly concerned with what other
people think of them, Capricorns can be a real pain. They are
much more interested in appearances than any other sign. But
if you cross them, they don't get angry, they don't get even.
They just turn their internal thermostat down about 100 degrees
when they see you. Women who marry a Capricorn, and flirt, end
up with a pussy full of cocksicle.
Most horoscopes claim that Capricorns can be the most passionate
lovers in the Zodiac when they lose their inhibitions, but since
they rarely touch drugs, this almost never happens.
Famous Capricorns are Louis Pasteur, Ben Franklin, Beethoven,
Isaac Newton, Henry Miller, Rudyard K.ipling, Marlene Dietrich,
Loretta Young, Mary Tyler Moore, Danny Kaye, Cary Grant, Janis
Joplin and Elvis Presley.
10. Aquarius (January 21-February 19)
Charming, exciting, completely unpredictable and among the most
original, inventive and complex people in the zodiac, Aquarians
fuck like rabbits. The Kama Sutra was probably first used as an
elementary school coloring book for Aquarius kids.
Though they are intuitive dreamers, they also have a sharp
analytical perception. Thus, they can dream of a new sexual
position and immediately know if it is a physical possibility.
Advances in civilization, science, and new inventions are
a special interest to this sign. Most sex aids were invented
by Aquarians.
Generous to a fault, it was an Aquarius who invented the
"pity fuck." Someone having a rough time? Well, fuck 'em!
Literally! It'll cheer him up, at least. Of course, when an
Aquarius screws you, you may walk bowlegged for months.
It depends on how many positions, "toys" and hours the session
lasts.
On the dark side, an Aquarius is a free spirit who doesn't
give a shit for other people's opinions. At times they are careless,
slovenly and absent-minded. Even odoriferous. People of this sign
are the most likely to have fleas, lice, herpes and VD. And pass
them on.
Famous Aqaurians include: Vanessa Redgrave, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and
her sister Eva, Kim Novak, Paul Newman, Clark Gable, John
Barrymore, Cahrles Dickens, Thomas Edison, Lewis Carroll
and Robert Burns.
11. Pisces (February 20-March 20)
These wishy-washy nerds are the most sexually inept of all the
signs. Pisces can't get it up, and Pisces women have pussies
that are as wet and wide as the Mississippi. They often marry
each other, which shows what nerds they really are. And of
course they deserve each other. And it keeps the world fun for
the rest of us.
The constellation under which they are born is sometimes called
the "armpit of the zodiac", and it seems to rub off. There isn't
enough Old Spice in the universe to solve this problem.
There isn't really much more to say about Pisces people. Except
that creativity is often achieved through deprivation, and as a
result, some of the most expressive artists were born Pisceans.
Some famous people born under this sign include Henrik Ibsen,
Andrew Jackson, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Anais Nin, Elizabeth
Taylor, Ursula Andress, Renoir, Chopin, Handel, Rudolf Nureyev,
Jerry Lewis, David Niven, Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash (They
DO deserve each other!), Luther Burbank, Henry W. Longfellow,
Jackie Gleason, Lawrence Welk, Dinah Shore, Enrico Caruso.
12. Aries (March 21-April 20)
Aries people are dynamic, quick, original, energetic, innovative
leaders who are downright disgusting to be around. These are the
first people bought joggers, and actually jogged in them. They are
the people who read the text in sex manuals. And try to follow it
by the numbers.
Aries are honest and direct, and quick to find a motel room when
the boss's wife is horny. This is the guy who gets the woman into
the bedroom with a promise of 10 inches and 3 times, and turns out
to have 3 inches, but does it 10 times.
The Aries affair usually gets pretty kinky, because with that
limber body and great stamina, they get bored with "the same old
thing" every night. From woman-on-top to shetland-pony-on-top is
not a long leap for an Aries.
Famous people in the Aries birthright include: Bette Davis, Joan
Crawford, Johan Sebastian Bach, Doris Day, Marlon Brando, Omar
Sharif, Peter Ustinov, Harry Houdini and Debbie Reynolds.
Comments made by NBC commentators during 2004 Summer Olympics
1. Weightlifting commentator:
"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up
and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator:
"This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once
mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast:
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst:
"Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them
really that serious."
5. Softball announcer:
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst:
"He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all
over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony:
"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British
crew."
8. Soccer commentator:
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator:
"One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife
takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up
and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator:
"This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once
mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast:
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst:
"Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them
really that serious."
5. Softball announcer:
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst:
"He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all
over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony:
"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British
crew."
8. Soccer commentator:
"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator:
"One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife
takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Thought for today
Direction is more important than the speed.
We are so busy looking at our speedometers that we forget the milestone.
We are so busy looking at our speedometers that we forget the milestone.
This is the best quote I have ever heard. Hence, it is here for all of you. Know what your target is rather than the pace you are going on.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Something you've been longing for
Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life--until the boat sank. He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies...nothing...only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, ‘Where did you come from? How did you get here?’
‘I rowed from the other side of the island,’ she says. ‘I landed here when my cruise ship sank.’
‘Amazing,’ he says. ‘You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.’
‘Oh, this?’ replies the woman. ‘I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches. And the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.’
‘But, but, that's impossible,’ stutters Ed. ‘You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?’
‘Oh, that was no problem,’ replies the woman. ‘On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.’ Ed is stunned. ‘Let's row over to my place,’ she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, ‘It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?’
‘No, no, thank you.’ he says, still dazed. ‘Can't take any more coconut juice.’ ‘It's not coconut juice,’ the woman replies. ‘I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?’
Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
‘I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.’
No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. ‘Wow! This woman is amazing!’ he muses, ‘What next?’
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. ‘Tell me,’ she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, ‘We've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know...’ She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing: ‘You mean---’, he swallows excitedly, ‘I can check my email from here?!’
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, ‘Where did you come from? How did you get here?’
‘I rowed from the other side of the island,’ she says. ‘I landed here when my cruise ship sank.’
‘Amazing,’ he says. ‘You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you.’
‘Oh, this?’ replies the woman. ‘I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches. And the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.’
‘But, but, that's impossible,’ stutters Ed. ‘You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?’
‘Oh, that was no problem,’ replies the woman. ‘On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.’ Ed is stunned. ‘Let's row over to my place,’ she says.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, ‘It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?’
‘No, no, thank you.’ he says, still dazed. ‘Can't take any more coconut juice.’ ‘It's not coconut juice,’ the woman replies. ‘I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?’
Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
‘I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.’
No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. ‘Wow! This woman is amazing!’ he muses, ‘What next?’
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. ‘Tell me,’ she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, ‘We've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know...’ She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing: ‘You mean---’, he swallows excitedly, ‘I can check my email from here?!’
Eleven reasons why e-mail is like a penis
11. Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off.
10. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.
9. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.
8. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call e-mail Envy.
7. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.
6. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.
5. If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses.
4. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
3. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
2. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.
And the # 1 reason is..
10. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.
9. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.
8. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call e-mail Envy.
7. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.
6. In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.
5. If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses.
4. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
3. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
2. If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.
And the # 1 reason is..
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Lucky Ganesh
Part of a forwarded mail. Says ill luck will fall on me if I don't forward it. The best way to broadcast it is from my blog. All the viewers will get it.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
Clinton and Mori
This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton...
The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr. Clinton should say," I'm fine, and you?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you."
It looks quite simple, but the truth is....When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You?" instead of "How are you". Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I'm Hilary's husband, ha-ha...." Then Mori replied "Me too, ha-ha.."
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room...
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton...
The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr. Clinton should say," I'm fine, and you?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you."
It looks quite simple, but the truth is....When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You?" instead of "How are you". Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I'm Hilary's husband, ha-ha...." Then Mori replied "Me too, ha-ha.."
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room...
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Rose
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Child Custody
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...
"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"
The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...
"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"
Sunday, September 10, 2006
World's first webpage
I came across this page (http://info.cern.ch/) while browsing the net. It tells the story how the Internet was born. You can also see the first web server, web page, web editor and web browser.
It has been 16 years now the internet was first invented. From just one single server, it has grown to a huge space now. Uncountable web servers connected to the internet now and the information in it are just unimaginable. Just log in and find what you want. We can reach anywhere in the world in few seconds and know about every place in instants. That's amazing.... Traveling isn't needed to know places at all!
Lets pay our due respects to the creator of the Internet and the boon this technology has given us. Truely, we can say, the Internet is the greatest invention of the last decade of the last century.
It has been 16 years now the internet was first invented. From just one single server, it has grown to a huge space now. Uncountable web servers connected to the internet now and the information in it are just unimaginable. Just log in and find what you want. We can reach anywhere in the world in few seconds and know about every place in instants. That's amazing.... Traveling isn't needed to know places at all!
Lets pay our due respects to the creator of the Internet and the boon this technology has given us. Truely, we can say, the Internet is the greatest invention of the last decade of the last century.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Food for your Brain
Want to play a puzzle. I finally completed this. The link below has 23 hidden pages without any links. To reach to the second page, you will have to solve the puzzle in the first page and so on.
Clue: all the pages are numeric. eg 1, 2, 3...
The clues vary from language, mathematics, culture, history, science and so on.
Happy decoding.
Reading "Da Vinci Code" and "Angels and Demons" helped me a lot. It nurtured a detective inside me.
http://www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html
Clue: all the pages are numeric. eg 1, 2, 3...
The clues vary from language, mathematics, culture, history, science and so on.
Happy decoding.
Reading "Da Vinci Code" and "Angels and Demons" helped me a lot. It nurtured a detective inside me.
http://www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html
Monday, September 04, 2006
Know your personality by your birth month
Jan
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.
Feb
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Mar
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.
Apr
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.
May
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited.
Jun
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!
Jul
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Love s to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
Aug
Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.
Sept
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.
Oct
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.
Nov
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.
Dec
This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible... Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.
Feb
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Mar
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.
Apr
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.
May
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited.
Jun
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!
Jul
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Love s to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
Aug
Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.
Sept
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.
Oct
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.
Nov
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.
Dec
This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible... Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Electrocuted
An Australian sheep farmer was puzzled at the disappearance of sheep on his farm. After a few weeks of sheep disappearing, the farmer decided to put up an electric fence. This is what he found :
Sunday, August 20, 2006
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