•Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
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• Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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• Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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• It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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• It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives !
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• A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
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• If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
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• Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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• There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage
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• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
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• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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• Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
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• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
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• Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi.
Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.
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• On Jeeto's bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.
When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.
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• Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.
TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.
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• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
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• Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.
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• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
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• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)
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• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!
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