Monday, August 14, 2006

Dilbert Blog

I finally found the blog. It is a good read and a great laughter. The link is:

Here is one article from the blog:

Tax Breaks for Leprechauns

As a smallish person, I often feel cheated. My money is subsidizing a lot of big people and I don’t like it.

For example, I pay the same price at the all-you-can-eat buffet as the guy who brings his own wheelbarrow. For all practical purposes, I’m buying that guy’s lunch.

On airplanes, huge guys use their entire seat plus about 30% of mine. I’ve got elbows and knees all over me. I try to reclaim part of the arm rest by using the casual nudge maneuver. But during short sleeve weather I can’t get past his hairy forearm defenses. It tickles, dammit.

When I fly, I have to pay extra if my suitcase weighs 51 pounds instead of 49. Then I take my seat next to Godzilla. He’s got me beat by about 100 pounds. My ticket is subsidizing the fuel to fly his huge cheeseburger filled torso around.

Large people also get to see more of the movie/play/concert than the rest of us who are paying the same price. All I see is a huge head. And don’t get me started about how they absorb too much of the bass vibrations.

When I buy a shirt, it has about 40% less material than the XXL size. I’m subsidizing other people’s cotton. Is that fair?

Big people have their uses. There’s no other way to get a couch to the second floor. And when a psycho pulls out a gun at the 7-Eleven, I appreciate having someone to leap behind. But on the whole, they’re breathing too much of the oxygen and putting too much wear and tear on the carpets. I’m convinced that when huge people pet the family dog, they’re wearing him out too quickly with their huge hands. A good dog only has so many pettings in him.

That’s why I think the income tax and sales tax should be replaced with a largeness tax. We could just measure people and charge them accordingly. And since there is a strong correlation between height and income, the result wouldn’t be that unfair.

I have a bad feeling that my odds of getting beaten up have just increased.

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