Pierre, the French fighter pilot

Pierre, a French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the river Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air, so Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!".

So our hero grabs a bottle of red wine and splashes it on Marie's lips.

"What are you doing, Pierre?" shrieks Marie.

"Well, my name is Pierre, the French Fighter Pilot, and when I have red meat I like to have red wine!"

His answer is good enough for Marie and things begin to heat up.

So she says : "Pierre, kiss me lower."

Our hero rips off her blouse, grabs a bottle of white wine and starts pouring it all over her tits.

"Pierre, what are you doing?"

"My name is Pierre, the French Fighter Pilot, and when I have white meat I like to have white wine!"

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans over once more and softly whispers into his ear, "Pierre, kiss me lower."

Pierre tears off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and sprinkles it all over her bush. He grabs a match and lights it on fire.

Patting the flames out furiously, Marie screams, "PIERRE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!?"

"My name is Pierre, the French Fighter Pilot, and when I go down, I go down in flames!"

Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies And What They Really Mean

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED

-- We are basically p*ssing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
-- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
-- We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
-- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION AS DELIVERED IS ASSURED
-- We are so far behind schedule that the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
-- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
-- We are so surprised that the stupid thing even works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
-- The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS
-- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
-- Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
-- Let's spread the responsibility for the screw-up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
-- We'll listen to what you have to say... as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
-- I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
-- Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15. ALL NEW
-- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. RUGGED
-- Too darn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT
-- Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
-- One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING
-- Achieved when the power switch is off.

20. LOW MAINTENANCE
-- Impossible to fix if broken.

Shy guy

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean, $200?"

Beer Facts

I came across this article in my igoogle. I think its quite a good one:

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• It was the accepted practice in Babylonia 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" - or what we know today as the "honeymoon".
• Before thermometers were invented, brewers would dip a thumb or finger into the mix to find the right temperature for adding yeast. Too cold, and the yeast wouldn't grow. Too hot, and the yeast would die. This thumb in the beer is where we get the phrase "rule of thumb".
• In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's".
• Beer was the reason the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock. It's clear from the Mayflower's log that the crew didn't want to waste beer looking for a better site. The log goes on to state that the passengers "were hasted ashore and made to drink water that the seamen might have the more beer".
• After consuming a bucket or two of vibrant brew they called aul, or ale, the Vikings would head fearlessly into battle often without armor or even shirts. In fact, the term "berserk" means "bare shirt" in Norse, and eventually took on the meaning of their wild battles.
• In 1740 Admiral Vernon of the British fleet decided to water down the navy's rum. Needless to say, the sailors weren't too pleased and called Admiral Vernon, Old Grog, after the stiff wool grogram coats he wore. The term "grog" soon began to mean the watered down drink itself. When you were drunk on this grog, you were "groggy", a word still in use today.
• Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle", is the phrase inspired by this practice.