Political Joke

We used to tell this joke with some modification pointing to the sardar community. I hardly knew this would fit in with the nepali politicians. Here is the nepali politicians' version.

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Being under tremendous pressure to keep the alliance of political parties together and not knowing who was capable of helping him run the country the PM (Girija Prasad Koirala) took a trip to India and on his trip he had a 'Darshan' with Mrs. Sonia Gandhi. During the meeting he asked her, "How do you manage to keep the alliance of parties together and run the country so well and so effortlessly?

"That's easy," she replied, "I identify the intelligent leaders in the alliance and keep them close to me and always take their guidance and advise."

"But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?" the PM inquired.

"You ask them a riddle," she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, "Would you please send Manmohan Singh in."

When Manmohan arrived, Sonia said, "I have a riddle for you to answer for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?"

Manmohan replied, "That 's easy. The child was me."

"Very good," said the Sonia, "Thank you. You may go, now."

So the PM came back to Kathmandu and called his main coalition ally Madhev Nepal, hoping he would pass the riddle test as he really wanted and needed him in the days ahead to keep the alliance together. He said to him, "I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?"

Nepal replied, "Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer, as no child must be left behind when we build the new inclusive Nepal. Can I deliberate on this for a while?"

"Yes," said the PM, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the answer."

So Nepal went and called a meeting of the rest of the seven parties, other than the Maoists as he didn't want them to know such an important question let alone the answer, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. So he was quite upset, not knowing what he would tell the PM.

As Nepal was going back to Baluwatar, he saw Prachanda approaching. So he said, "Comrade, can you answer this riddle for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?"

That's easy, said Prachanda, "The child was me."

"Oh thank you," said Nepal, trying not to let him know what a big problem he had solved and brushed him aside, rushing off with a big smile to Baluwatar.

So Nepal got to Baluwatar he went rushing in to see the PM and he proudly said, "I think I know the answer to your riddle. The child was PRACHANDA!"

"No, you idiot!" shouted the PM in disgust, "You can not even solve the riddle how can I count on you… The child was MANMOHAN SINGH !!!"

PM denies making comments favouring 'minor King'

A day after a news about PM GP Koirala's view on monarchy made the headlines of all the newspapers, the PM gave new statement that the press "miss" - quoted him. Now now, what kind of statement is that? I think this is another good political joke. I don't want to comment anything on this topic.

Below is the news article from Nepalnews.com
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A day after he was reported to have made remarks urging the King and Crown Prince to abdicate in favour of 'minor King' or face imminent republic, Prime Minister Girija Prasad Koirala has denied making such comments.

Prime Minister Girija Prasad Koirala (File photo)

"I had referred to the statements I made in Biratnagar eight months ago. I had then urged the King (to consider this offer). But the King did not listen to me. And now the situation is different. Only the Constituent Assembly can decide the fate of monarchy now," he told reporters after the meeting of Nepali Congress parliamentary party in Baluwatar on Monday.

The Prime Minister said that the media had failed to understand what he had said during his interaction with a delegation of Pakistani journalists who were accompanied by members of Weekly Fortnightly Newspapers Network on Sunday.

"Our media is just learning so I do not want to make any specific comment about them," Koirala added.

The Prime Minister said that he cannot go against the wishes of people. "The CA will have the people's mandate and I cannot go against their decision," he said, adding, "I have no love or preference for monarchy."

At the NC parliamentary party meeting, many Congress lawmakers raised concerns about continued Maoist atrocities and wondered aloud if the CA elections can be held on time.

Meanwhile, the Unified Marxist Leninist (UML) leaders, too, raised objections against PM's reported remarks favouring 'minor King' at the meeting of standing committee on Monday. nepalnews.com sd Jun 18 07

New Nepal’s Politicking Grasshoppers

I found this article in one of the blogs I have hosted. I think its a good read. Please enjoy it.

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New Nepal’s Politicking Grasshoppers

Courtesy - Sanzay

My father used to encourage me when I was a kid with this old story……

“The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant’s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. In coming winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.” Now as my father is gone so seems his moral lesson…

New Version of the old story in the 21st Century

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant’s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. In coming winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving. KANTIPUR, AJTAK, DW, CCTV 9, BBC, CNN, NDTV, NTV show up to cover the footage of the shivering grasshopper, next to the video is the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this poor grasshopper be allowed to suffer so?

Sujata Koirala quickly wraps up her morning breakfast at the Yak and Yeti and arrives at the spot with a congress flag to stage a vehement demonstration in front of the ant’s house.

Krishna Pahadi goes on a hunger strike at the Maitighar Mandala along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

UN secretary general Ban Ki-moon, Linda Sundh and Mathew Kahane criticize the Nepalese Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support for the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).

Hrydayesh Tripathi after parking his big Land Cruiser in a safe shelter demands for “grasshopper’s inclusion in the parliament”. At his advise MP’s staged walkout from parliament.

Comrade Prachanda after learning that the creatures called grasshoppers do exist from Comrade Baburam, released a press statement highlighting the contribution of the grasshopper to the communist movement in Nepal and immediately called for “Nepal Bandh”.

Madhav Nepal summoned Mr. K.P Oli to Balkhu Darbur and orders to passes a law through the cabinet preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers or else threaten to walk out of government.

Gagan Thapa and Raj Kumari Jhakri quickly burn 100 tires in protest and called for allocation of ten percent scholarship to martyr Grasshoppers children in school and colleges.

Finally, five retired judge of Supreme court Judicial Committee drafted and submitted the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]”, with strong recommendation to implement before winter.

Mr. Girija Prasad Koirala on the recommendation of high level commission makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Institutions & in Govt Services.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by Image channel exclusively.

Krishna Pahadi calls it “a triumph of justice”. Gagan calls it ‘Socialistic Justice’. Maoist calls it the ‘revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden’ Ban Ki-moon invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

MANY YEARS LATER…. somewhere around in 2030

Since then, the ants have sold their last remaining of whatever they had, borrowed some money and migrated to the US. Many of them started successful careers in some reputed US Companies and some started business of their own.

President Chelsea Clinton sent a letter of appreciation to migrant Nepalese ant for their contribution toward US economy. Back in Nepal people are celebrating,since the dissolved house has been recently reinstated after janandolan-8 and the “people’s government” was formed… newly appointed Minister for education Gagan Thapa puts a garland around
the statue of a martyr grasshopper killed recently in a “brutal” police shooting during police post attack… they observe a minute of silence and vowed for “Super New Nepal”…KMC truck is seen down the road collecting the remains of recently burnt tires.

Another good joke

Recently, here in the city, a leading (business) magazine organized top business men awards ceremony. One category focused on Best CEOs, which award, three people won. One of them is Sashin Joshi, he has gotten that award many times. He is a well known personality in management field here in Nepal. Many aspiring youths look up to him.

Here is his comment after he received the award:
"Feels great. I wonder if our political leaders like Girija and Prachanda will ever be able to grab this award."


This is another good joke in my political jokes series, and a satire to our political leaders, who don't have any vision, but just keep mumbling some bullshit words.

Nepal would definitely will be a good place to live and work if people like Sashin Joshi run the government.